* * * * * “It was my good fortune that my ancestors came over in the Mayflower,” said Miss South Church. “May flour,” replied Miss Hennepin, who did not quite understand. “Our folks made their fortune in September wheat.” * * * * * What is an Island? A pimple on the Ocean. What is a strait? Nine, ten, Jack, Queen, King. * * * * * “What did you steal that cradle for?” “Oh, just for a kid.” * * * * * “Why, the bare idea!” “Of what, dear?” “Telling the naked truth!” * * * * * “Are you going to the seashore this summer?” “Not me; I was bored almost to death there last year.” “Not enough men?” “No; too many mosquitoes.” * * * * * “Say, there ain’t no bell in my room.” “Well, if youse want anyt’ing, wring de towel. See?” * * * * * “I was down to the race track yesterday and played a horse 20 to 1.” “Well?” “He didn’t come in until quarter to six.” * * * * * “Airships will be all the rage soon.” “Well, it is nothing unusual for people to fly in a rage.” * * * * * “Seeing is believing, you know.” “Not always. I see you frequently, but I seldom believe you.” * * * * * “What is a profitless enterprise?” “Telling hair-raising stories to a baldheaded man.” * * * * * “After all a hammock is nothing but a net.” “You are right. Many a girl makes a good catch in one.” * * * * * I see there is a plan to tax the barbers of Kansas City, Kan., $1 each annually--won’t it work a hardship on them? They can easily scrape up the money. * * * * * “That young man who calls on you twice a week stays too late. You will have to sit down on him.” “Why, I do, mamma.” * * * * * Do you know Minnie Fish? Yes, I’m going to drop her a line. * * * * * “Does your wife miss you when you are away from home?” “No; but she frequently misses me when I’m at home.” “How’s that?” “Her aim isn’t accurate.” * * * * * “My tailor called with his little bill yesterday.” “I know how that is, old man. You have my sympathy.” “Oh, don’t waste your sympathy on me. Sympathize with the tailor.” * * * * * Did you hear about Waters the iceman? No! what about him? Why, he went on the stage. Was he a success? No, he was a frost. * * * * * “I’ll never forget the night you proposed. You acted like a fish out of water.” “Yes, I was a sucker.” * * * * * “By the way, can you pay that little bill of mine to-day?”