Conscious as we are that the acquisition of an INSIDECOMPLETUAR is tantamount to a confession of ignorance, we have made arrangements for the complete deception of the neighbours of Fellows of the Royal Society, and Members of other learned Societies. Purchasers have but to express the wish and we will express the volumes packed to simulate alien articles, such as groceries, pianos, blocks of granite, pressed beef, hardware, cork lino, Derby Brights, coffins, or the _Dictionary of National Biography_. The purchaser has only to fill up and return the appended form:-- _To the Proprietors of the_ INSIDECOMPLETUAR BRITANNIAWARE. SIR,--I enclose [_here insert the amount of your first instalment_] as a first instalment of the purchase-money of your inestimable boon. In sending the volumes please pack them to resemble [_here insert whatever you wish the volumes to be so packed as to resemble_]. Believe me, yours gratefully and admiringly, [_Here insert your name_.] * * * * * Mr. Bernard Shaw writes: ‘So admirable were the precautions of your secret supply service that Mrs. Shaw is still under the impression that the cellar merely contains a year’s supply of Grape Nuts.’ Despatch in Delivery. Every set sent out within two minutes of receiving the order. In order to ensure perfect punctuality of delivery, Mr. Automobilé Bell has made arrangements with the Strand Vestry for the use of their 20 H.P. steam traction engine, preceded by a red danger signal, to secure a free field and no favour. * * * * * Lord Esher writes: ‘I had hardly turned round after posting my order before my steps were completely congested. Our only exit from the house has since been by means of a fire-escape.’ Dr. Clifford writes: ‘They come up like mushrooms.’ Humphry Ward’s Iron Buildings. To cope with the difficulty of accommodating a work that multiplies with such alarming regularity, Mr. Humphry Ward has devised a system of Iron Buildings. ONE HOUSE ONE CYCLO is a good rule, but all houses cannot cope with the strain. Hence Mr. Humphry Ward’s noble project. These buildings are easily erected, and for housing the INSIDECOMPLETUAR are superior in every way to the old method of shooting them into the coal-cellar, where the process of reference was difficult. * * * * * Lady Warwick writes:--‘It is quite an addition to Warwick Castle. Mr. Joseph Arch, who was calling here the other day with some more autobiographical materials, was greatly taken with it.’ The Hon. Lionel Walter Rothschild, M.P., writes:--‘As winter quarters for my Zebras I do not know what I should do without it.’ Warning to Subscribers.