Women's Wild Oats: Essays on the Re-fixing of Moral StandardsHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
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Women's Wild Oats: Essays on the Re-fixing of Moral Standards
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Women -- Great Britain; Women -- Social and moral questions
You will see what this must mean. I am brought back to our wrong ideals;
I have no new remedy to give; I can only again insist upon this truth: A
preoccupation with a desire for love does not, and never can, result in
happiness. But the personal (or perhaps my meaning will be clearer by
saying the egoistic) view of love has assumed such gigantic proportion
in our minds to-day that we accept these selfish desires as a safe basis
for permanent happiness. _Marriage has ceased to be a discipline; it has
become an experiment._
The romantic view of love as the basis of marriage is, of course, the
essence of the English habit of life; as we have seen, it focuses desire
on personal adventures and personal needs. Romance necessarily leads to
license, and not license of the body alone finding expression in more or
less gross immoralities, for there is a spiritual license far more
dangerous because so much more seductive. Appetite for adventure, for an
excitement that is mainly mental is a condition that is quite as
dangerous to marriage and much more common than the unfaithfulness that
leads to the divorce courts.
I would appeal to the young, to each young girl, who to-day is
questioning the future. Many of you have passed through a supremely
heroic period of your lives; now you are waiting. You want to do right,
and it is so difficult, for everyone seems to be at a loose end of
desire. Perhaps some among you will ask me: "What can I do?" My answer
is this: Fix your ideal. Do not make the child's mistake and think that
the desirable thing is to do just what you like. You can never find
freedom or happiness in that way. Hold firm in your hearts that no gain
of personal liberty counts as happiness to women. Treasure your womanly
qualities--your sweetness, your gentleness, your shyness, your unlimited
capacity for devotion, guard these as your greatest possession. Do not
acknowledge your poverty by failing to honor yourself. Be the
establishers of a revived feminist idealism, the founders of a new
tradition of womanly service. It is for you to fix the type that will
one day give woman her real freedom; one day--but not yet.
In these times of uncertainty there is great danger. Every woman should
be asked at the moment to believe in simple things; in her home, her
children, her husband, and her country. The only hope is in unity, and
for unity you must have discipline, and for discipline, for the present,
at least, you must accept authority. Much, incalculably much, depends
upon the young. The generation to which I belong is passing, we have to
hand on to you who are younger the torch of life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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