Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English drama
Allen. Oh, I shan’t go out this morning, now. (_Gets hat and umbrella
from table r.c._) I shall get them to stop here instead, and us can
have a nice quiet day all together. (_Going towards door, lower l._)
Come on, mother. (_Crosses to c._) I’ve got a room fitted up a’purpose
for thee and Deb, with a roost just outside the window with a cock and
three hens in it, and he crows all night.
(_Exeunt Allen, Deb., and Mrs. R. down stage._)
(_Enter Baron von Schorr (1) and the Hon. Tom. Gus-sett (2), ushered in
by Peters c. (3). Enter Luke c., and Dexter u. l. (4), afterwards Clara
(5.) Baron goes down l., Gussett r., Luke r. c., Dexter l. c._)
Dex. (_l._) Rollitt’s going out. You can’t see him. It’s no good your
coming here to try and fleece him this morning. I tell you he’s going
out.
Luke. (_Coming down r.c._) Ah, we’ll wait and say good-bye to him,
Jack.
Baron. (_l. c._) Ah, greedy Jack,--greedy Jack--you want de bird all
to yourself. Nein--nein, zhare and zhare alike. Herr Cranbourne have a
ving, Tom Gussett, he have de oder ving. You and your fair daughter have
de legs, and I vill have de breast.
Clara. No, you shall have the bones after we’ve done with them. Make
’em into a stew--keep a German baron for a week. (_Others laugh._)
Baron. Ah, Trickey, you here. (_Motioning towards Clara and her
father._) Ah, de early birds--de early birds.
Clara. Yes, we have to be. (_Rises, and goes r.imitating him._) De
worms get up so early nowadays. (_Enter Allen lower l. Baron goes to
meet him. Guss. puts him away and he turns up c. Speaks to Dex._)
Allen. Hullo! Unexpected pleasure!
(_Luke comes forward and greets Allen c._)
Guss. (_r._) Haven’t seen you for an age, dear boy.
Allen. No. (_Goes to Luke r._) I’ve been keeping pretty respectable of
late--I--I mean, you know, I haven’t been going out much.
Luke, (_l._) Tom and I are going over to Paris for the Vincennes
meeting, and we’ve come to see if you will join.
Guss. (_l. of Allen r._) Yes, do come; then we can show you about Paris
a bit, you know.
Luke. Ah, yes, and we shall be able to get you into one or two things
in the betting line if you are with us. We can introduce you to some
friends of ours.
Allen. Ah, it be very kind of thee, I’m sure.
(_They go on talking r._)
Baron. (_Aside to the Dexters, back of Clara._) I say, Jack, my boy, how
long have you been Colonel? I did not know you vas a militaire.
Clara. Papa joined the Salvation Army about the same time that you were
raised to the German Peerage. Don’t talk so loud, my dear Baron.
Baron. Gut, gut.
(_Luke sits down stage r. with back to audience, looking at betting
book._)
Guss. (_To Allen r._) Of course we shall take care of your interests as
if it was for ourselves.
Baron. (_Comes and puts arm in Allen’s._) Of course they vill take care
ob your interests for themselves. Come here. (_Goes l._) You know I have
been tinking about you so much ob late. Ja!
Allen. Ah, very kind of thee, I’m sure.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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