Your boy and his training : $b A practical treatise on boy-trainingPuller, Edwin Seward
Science
Your boy and his training : $b A practical treatise on boy-training
Puller, Edwin Seward
Boys; Child rearing
The repressive method of training is founded on the principle of
negation. It seeks to make the boy do right by constant admonition
not to do wrong. It proceeds on the theory that elimination of the bad
will, leave the good. It is indirect in its methods as well as its
results.
The negative system of training manifests itself in such commands as,
“Don’t make that noise;” “Don’t bother me, I’m busy;” “Don’t slide down
the cellar door;” “Don’t talk so loud;” “Don’t play in the house;”
“Don’t tease sister;” “Don’t eat so much;” “Don’t soil your clothes;”
“Don’t bring those boys into the house;” “Don’t scuff out your shoes;”
“Don’t get your hands dirty;” “Don’t be tardy at school;” “Don’t wear
out the seat of your pants;” and so on without end.
No boy ever thrived on an indigestible diet of don’ts.
Jacob Riis, writing in the _Outlook_, says: “Write the one word ‘Don’t’
there, and only that, and the boy if he has any spirit will take to
the jungle. Every father knows it; every teacher has learned it, if he
has learned anything.”
While this system has a modicum of worth in certain of its
applications, it lacks the comprehensiveness and directness necessary
to accomplish the best results.
The prohibition of reading dime novels, nickel libraries and other
blood-and-thunder tales, without the suggestion of adventure stories of
definite ethical and moral value to fill the vacuum thus created in his
emotional life, is another conspicuous example of the repressive method
of training--which does not repress but impels the boy to continue his
lurid reading in secret.
The error of the system lies in taking something essential away from
the boy without giving him an adequate substitute. It is damming up the
stream without providing a spillway, and is as ineffective as it is
unpsychological. The current of his activities will find a channel as
surely as water will find its level. Instead of attempting to check the
flow, we should direct it into channels for good. This repression, if
persistent, will dwarf the child’s initiative and compel him to grope
in the dark to find out what is permissible. It is as fallacious in
practice as a system of teaching, if such could be conceived, which
would give the boy a hundred guesses to learn a fact, instead of the
teacher’s direct statement of the fact. It is the maze of a labyrinth
which envelops the traveler in hopeless confusion and its effect can
only be depressing and disheartening to the child. We frequently make
the mistake of underestimating the reasoning powers of our children,
which prompts us with autocratic dogmatism to forbid their acts without
an explanation of the reasons why or the suggestion of a substitute to
fill the void caused by the prohibition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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