30th.--Up at half-past nine--stupid feeling--trifled away much time. Out to see after cabbages--failure. To work by twelve at the bulwark. After dinner, finding that cabbages _must_ be had, I out with the boy who is digging the garden. Our greengrocer’s red cabbages all spoiled. Brought back two red and four white; then begged two more of our next neighbour. Trimmed them, and hung them round the bulwark, and to work till seven.... 3rd April.--Up before nine; to work about half-past ten. All day at the rope and netting, under an umbrella (as it rained); dreary work, and I feel as though I had done none, so mechanical was the work and so mechanically worked I. I now see that I cannot have done for the R.A.; is it for good or for evil? I know not, yet it is vexing. Had I not painted the two little landscapes in the autumn, I would have had time. I have foolishly trifled away my time, and am punished. 4th.--Up at half-past seven, to go into City to see after my mortgage, having made our landlord a promise to pay him by the 15th. Bad news--little hope of my being able to keep my word.... 7th.--Up by nine, to work at _Carrying Corn_ for the R.A. A letter from Windus to say my _Cordelia_ is at my service for the R.A.; one from White, to say I may send for my _Ladye of Saturday Night_, not having the slightest chance of disposing of it.... White was so hot about buying the drawing six months ago; and, after getting me to alter it and send it to him, now says he has not the slightest chance of disposing of it. Old ass.... 11th.--Up at eight--very absent and dejected, no prospects but going to India. With difficulty roused myself to work about eleven at my pallet and preparatives till twelve; then till three at work, and from half-past four till seven out in yard. Cold north wind yesterday and to-day has given me a cold on my chest. This evening cleaned pallet, and worked at Emma’s head--the drawing I made at Hampstead when I began the picture. Emma would not sit, so I worked from feeling. Yesterday she had a sad fall from off a stile, and in bed was fainting last night--poor dear.... Millais, it seems, has finished his _Fireman_ picture, although three weeks ago he had more than half uncovered, they say. How he does I can’t tell....