Adrift on the Amazon — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Adrift on the Amazon
John Stuart Mill · en
“I would rather plow with a tractor and sow wheat; or herd cattle; or
raise pigs than build anything no matter how great. I could put my whole
heart and soul into that work and enjoy it. I want space to do my
thinking and to develop in. I want green grass under my feet and a blue
sky overhead. It is too crowded here. There are just as big things to be
done in one place as in another.”
“Good gracious! Who put all that into your head? Or did you read it in
some book?”
“It has just been growing on me and with me. I must get away from here.
Let me work out my own future.”
“Suppose I should refuse to listen any further.”
“Then I am afraid I should go anyway, not right now, perhaps, but at
some future time. The thought of all this is bigger than I am, and some
day, soon, it would get the better of me and I should be compelled to
go.”
“Well, well!” His father was obviously worried. “So you have made up
your mind. You refuse to go back to your work here?”
“I should rather not. And, let Wellman stay.”
“I’ll see. Now you go straight home and wait for me there. This thing
will have to be settled one way or the other.”
As David left the building his mind was filled with so many things that
it was impossible to think clearly on any one of them. Two things kept
recurring to him, however, because they had been so unexpected. The
first was that his father had taken sides with him in the controversy,
had admitted that he was right and that Wellman was in the wrong; he had
even gone so far as to volunteer to discharge the old and valued
employe. And the second was that for the first time his parent had
indicated a willingness to seriously listen to the thing he felt best
suited him and for which he was eager to sacrifice his enviable
prospects as a man of the business world.
He could hardly wait to tell his mother. She had always been a
sympathetic listener and while she had never greatly encouraged him in
his ambition she had never discouraged him.
It was, therefore, a source of disappointment to him to find upon
reaching home that his mother was not there. She had an appointment for
luncheon, the cook informed him, and would go to a club meeting after
that. It was impossible to draw any further information from the cook.
David suspected that she knew more, but to his casual remark that she
must have decided rather suddenly to go, there came no response.
Evidently the cook had orders not to talk, so he did not question her
further.
The afternoon seemed like a year. He tried to read a magazine; then a
book, but after turning a few pages he was forced to admit that he did
not know what he was reading about, so he closed it with a bang and
calling Spike, his terrier, went for a walk in the garden.