All for Love; or, Her Heart's Sacrifice — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
All for Love; or, Her Heart's Sacrifice
John Stuart Mill · en
“My accursed selfishness and vanity caused it all! If she dies, her
death lies at my door,” was the thought that beat upon his bewildered
brain.
Every moment of unconsciousness brought her death nearer and nearer;
he realized it with cruel force. “Ah, Heaven, what should I do?” he
cried, kneeling over her there in the dusty road, marveling even in his
remorse and grief at the fairness of her pallid face.
There was only one thing to do--he must carry her back to town in his
arms, since there was no other way.
Like Richard the Third, he could have cried out: “My kingdom for a
horse!”
Realizing all the bitterness of his plight, he bent down and took
Berry’s limp figure in his arms and started out to trudge the distance
back to town.
Ordinarily this would have been no great feat, for Charley Bonair was
an athlete of renown among his fellows. But he had got such a severe
shaking up himself, besides partially spraining his ankle, that he was
not very fit for the burden he now started out to carry.
He trembled under the weight of Berry, and the perspiration ran down
his face in streams, while he had to hide his lips to suppress groans
of agony, as the weak ankle now and then twisted under him so that he
could barely proceed.
But he set his teeth, grimly, vowing:
“I shall take her home if I die for it. It is the only atonement I can
make for my sin. How dared I think I could flirt with this pure, sweet
little darling!”
He thought with wonder of her exquisite innocence and ignorance, of how
surely she had believed at first that he really wished to marry her
when she was so far beneath him in the social scale.
“I shall never forget her pride and anger when I showed her my real
nature,” he thought ruefully. “Ah, what a strong sense of honor! How it
put me to the blush! She is too good for me, sweet little Berry! It is
better to marry Rosalind, who knows all my faults, doubtless, and is
not very saintly herself.”
Suddenly he paused in distress, and looked about him.
The moon had gone under a dark cloud, the air had turned chill, a
flurry of rain beat down upon him, groping in thick darkness with that
dead weight in his arms. It was one of the sudden changes in September
weather, capricious as April.
“We must get under shelter, somehow, somewhere!” he thought, looking
toward the trees, then a cry of joy shrilled over his lips.
Among the trees he saw a light flare up like a precious jewel in the
gloom. It came from the windows of a house.
He staggered toward it, drenched with rain, agonized at every step with
his sprained ankle, and his mind in a tumult. How he gained the porch
he scarcely knew, but he saw that it was a sort of tavern.
He stumbled on the steps and fell prone with his lovely burden.
CHAPTER VI. THE BOOK OF FATE.