Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2
John Stuart Mill · en
On her knee lay her father’s cigarette-making machine and a parcel of
papers and tobacco. An empty cigarette tin stood upon the window-sill.
She began packing tobacco into the groove of the machine, distributing
and pressing it lightly with the tips of her fingers, watching as she
worked the heavy pink cups of the anemones and the shining of their
green stalks through the water. They were, she reflected, a little too
much out. In the sun they would have come out still more. They would
close up at night unless the rooms grew very hot. Slipping the paper
evenly into the slot she shut the machine and turned the roller. As the
sound of the loosely working cogs came up to her she revolted from her
self-imposed task. She was too happy to make cigarettes. It would use up
her happiness too stupidly.
She was surprised by a sudden suggestion that she should smoke the
single cigarette herself. Why not? Why had she never yet smoked one? She
glanced at the slowly swinging door. No one would come. She was alone on
the top floor. Everyone was downstairs and busy. The finished cigarette
lay on her knee. Taking it between her fingers she pressed a little
hanging thread of tobacco into place. The cigarette felt pleasantly
plump and firm. It was well made. As she rose to get matches the mowing
machine sounded suddenly from the front lawn. She started and looked out
of the window, concealing the cigarette in her hand. It was the gardener
with bent shoulders pushing with all his might. With some difficulty she
unhitched the phosphorescent match-box from its place under the
gas-bracket and got back into her low chair, invisible from the lawn.
The cool air flowed in garden-scented. She held the cigarette between
two fingers. The match hissed and flared as she held it carefully below
the sill, and the flame flowed towards her while she set the paper
alight. Raising the cigarette to her lips she blew gently outwards, down
through the tobacco. The flame twisted and went out, leaving the paper
charred. She struck another match angrily, urging herself to draw, and
drew little panting breaths with the cigarette well in the flame. It
smoked. Blowing out the match she looked at the end of the cigarette. It
was glowing all over and a delicate little spiral of smoke rose into her
face. Quickly she applied her lips again and drew little breaths,
opening her mouth wide between each breath and holding the cigarette
sideways away from her. The end glowed afresh with each breath. The
paper charred evenly away and little flecks of ash fell about her.
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