Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2
John Stuart Mill · en
A third of the whole length was consumed. Her nostrils breathed in
smoke, and as she tasted the burnt flavour the sweetness of the
unpolluted air all around her was a new thing. The acrid tang in her
nostrils intoxicated her. She drew more boldly. There was smoke in her
mouth. She opened it quickly, sharply exhaling a yellow cloud oddly
different from the grey spirals wreathing their way from the end of the
cigarette. She went on drawing in mouthful after mouthful of smoke,
expelling each quickly with widely-opened lips, turning to look at the
well-known room through the yellow haze and again at the sky, which drew
nearer as she puffed at it. The sight of the tree-tops scrolled with her
little clouds brought her a sense of power. She had chosen to smoke and
she was smoking, and the morning world gleamed back at her....
11
The morning gleamed. She would choose her fate. It should be amongst
green trees and sunshine. That daunted lump who had accepted the post at
Banbury Park had nothing to do with her. Morning gladness flooded her,
and her gladness of the thought of the evening to come quickened as it
had done last night into certainty.
She burned the last inch of the cigarette in the grate, wrapped with
combings from the toilet-tidy in a screw of paper. When all was consumed
she carefully replaced the summer bundle of ornamental mohair behind the
bars.
Useless to tell anyone. No one would believe she had not felt ill. She
found it difficult to understand why anyone should feel sick from
smoking. Dizzy perhaps ... a little drunk. Pater’s tobacco was very
strong, some people could not smoke it.... She had smoked a whole
cigarette of strong tobacco and liked it. Raising her arms above her
head she worked them upwards, stretching every muscle of her body. No,
she was anything but ill.
Leaving the window wide she went on to the landing. The smell of tobacco
was everywhere. She flung into each room in turn, throwing up windows
and leaving doors propped ajar.
Harriett coming up the garden with a basket of cut flowers saw her at
the cook’s bedroom window.
“What on earth you doing thayer!” she shrieked putting down her basket.
Hanging from the window Miriam made a trumpet of her hands.
“Something blew in!”
12
All preparations for the evening were made and the younger members of
the household were having a late tea in the breakfast-room. “We’ve done
the alcoves,” said Sarah explosively, “in case it rains.”
Nan Babington sat up in her long chair to bring her face round to the
deep bay where Sarah stood.
“My _dear_! Seraphina! And she’s doing the pink bows! Will some saint
take my cup? Ta.... My dear, how _perfectly_ screaming.”
Miriam raised her head from the petal-scattered table, where she lay
prone side by side with Harriett, to watch Nan sitting up in her firm
white dress beaming at Sarah through her slanting eye.
“What flowers you going to wear, Nan?”