Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2
John Stuart Mill · en
“It is most strange. I talk to you here as I will. It is simple and
fatal”; the supporting arm became a gentle encirclement and Miriam’s
heart beat softly in her ears. “I go to-morrow to Paris to the branch of
my father’s business that is managed there by my brother. And I go then
to New York to establish a branch there. I shall be away then, perhaps a
year. Shall I find you here?”
A quick crunching on the gravel pathway just in front of them made them
both hold their breath to listen. Someone was standing on the grass near
Max’s side of the coffin. A match spat and flared and Miriam’s heart was
shaken by Ted’s new, eager, frightened voice. “Aren’t you _ever_ going
to dance with me again?”
She had seen the whiteness of his face and his cold, delicate, upright
figure. In spirit she had leapt to her feet and faltered his name. All
the world she knew had fallen into newness. This was certainty. Ted
would never leave her. But it was Max who was standing up and saying
richly in the blackness left by the burnt-out match, “All in good time,
Burton. Miss Miriam is engaged to me for this dance.” Her faint “of
course, Ted,” was drowned in the words which her partner sang after the
footsteps retreating rapidly along the gravel path: “We’re just coming!”
“I suppose they’ve begun the next dance,” she said, rising decisively
and brushing at her velvet skirt with trembling hands.
“Our dance. Let us go and dance our dance.”
They walked a little apart steadily along up through the kitchen garden,
their unmatched footsteps sounding loudly upon the gravel between
remarks made by Max. Miriam heard them and heard the voice of Max. But
she neither listened nor responded.
She began to talk and laugh at random as they neared the lawn lit by the
glaring uncurtained windows.
Consulting his scrutinising face as they danced easily in the as yet
half-empty room, he humming the waltz which swung with their movement,
she found narrow, glinting eyes looking into her own; strange eyes that
knew all about a big business and were going to Paris and New York. His
stranger’s face was going away, to be washed and shaved innumerable
times, keeping its assurance in strange places she knew nothing about.
Here, just for these few hours, laughing at Ted. A phrase flashed
through her brain, “He’s brought Ted to his senses.” She flushed and
laughed vaguely and danced with a feeling of tireless strength and
gaiety. She knew the phrase was not her own. It was one Nan Babington
could have used. It excited her. It meant that real things were going to
happen, she could bear herself proudly in the room. She rippled
complacently at Max. The room was full of whirling forms, swelling and
shrinking as they crossed and recrossed the line between the clear
vision rimmed by her glasses and the surrounding bright confusion.
Swift, rhythmic movement, unbroken and unjostled, told her how well they
were dancing. She was secure, landed in life, dancing carelessly out and
out to a life of her own.