Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Backwater : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 2
John Stuart Mill · en
Miriam returned to her book. The story of Adèle had moved on through
several unassimilated pages. “My child,” she read, “it is important to
remember”--she glanced on gathering a picture of a woman walking with
Adèle along the magic terrace, talking--words and phrases that fretted
dismally at the beauty of the scene. Examining later chapters she found
conversations, discussions, situations, arguments, “fusses”--all about
nothing. She turned back to the early passage of description and caught
the glow once more. But this time it was overshadowed by the promise of
those talking women. That was all there was. She had finished the story
of Adèle.
A resounding slam came up from the kitchen.
“Poor cook--another tooth,” sighed Trixie.
Smothering a convulsion, Miriam sat dumb. Her thwarted expectations
ranged forth beyond control, feeling swiftly and cruelly about for
succour where she had learned there was none.... Nancie, her parents
abroad, her aunt’s house at Cromer, with a shrubbery, the cousin from
South Africa coming home to Cromer, taking her out in a dog-cart,
telling her she was his guiding star, going back to South Africa;
everything Nancie said and did, even her careful hair-brushing and her
energetic upright walk, her positive brave way of entering a room,
coming out through those malicious pin-points--things she said about the
Misses Perne and the girls, things she whispered and laughed, little
rhymes she sang with her unbearable laugh.
... Beadie still shaking at intervals in silent servile glancing
laughter, her stepmother, her little half-brother who had fits, her
holidays at Margate, “you’d look neat, on the seat, of a bicyka made for
two”--Beadie brought Miriam the utmost sense of imprisonment within the
strange influence that had threatened her when she first came to Banbury
Park. Beadie was in it, was an unquestioning part of it. She felt that
she could in some way, in some one tint or tone, realise the whole
fabric of Beadie’s life on and on to the end, no matter what should
happen to her. But she turned from the attempt--any effort at full
realisation threatened complete despair. Trixie too, with a home just
opposite the Banbury Empire.... Miriam slid over this link in her rapid
reflections--a brother named Julian who took instantaneous photographs
of girls, numbers and numbers of girls, and was sometimes “tight.” ...