Camille (La Dame aux Camilias) — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camille (La Dame aux Camilias)
John Stuart Mill · en
I was far from having given up thinking about Marguerite. Another
feeling had taken possession of me. It seemed to me that I had her
insult and my absurdity to wipe out; I said to myself that if I spent
every penny I had, I would win her and win my right to the place I had
abandoned so quickly.
Before the performance was over Marguerite and her friend left the box.
I rose from my seat.
“Are you going?” said Ernest.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
At that moment he saw that the box was empty.
“Go, go,” he said, “and good luck, or rather better luck.”
I went out.
I heard the rustle of dresses, the sound of voices, on the staircase. I
stood aside, and, without being seen, saw the two women pass me,
accompanied by two young men. At the entrance to the theatre they were
met by a footman.
“Tell the coachman to wait at the door of the Café Anglais,” said
Marguerite. “We will walk there.”
A few minutes afterward I saw Marguerite from the street at a window of
one of the large rooms of the restaurant, pulling the camellias of her
bouquet to pieces, one by one. One of the two men was leaning over her
shoulder and whispering in her ear. I took up my position at the
Maison-d’or, in one of the first-floor rooms, and did not lose sight of
the window for an instant. At one in the morning Marguerite got into
her carriage with her three friends. I took a cab and followed them.
The carriage stopped at No. 9, Rue d’Antin. Marguerite got out and went
in alone. It was no doubt a mere chance, but the chance filled me with
delight.
From that time forward, I often met Marguerite at the theatre or in the
Champs-Elysées. Always there was the same gaiety in her, the same
emotion in me.
At last a fortnight passed without my meeting her. I met Gaston and
asked after her.
“Poor girl, she is very ill,” he answered.
“What is the matter?”
“She is consumptive, and the sort of life she leads isn’t exactly the
thing to cure her. She has taken to her bed; she is dying.”
The heart is a strange thing; I was almost glad at hearing it.
Every day I went to ask after her, without leaving my name or my card.
I heard she was convalescent and had gone to Bagnères.
Time went by, the impression, if not the memory, faded gradually from
my mind. I travelled; love affairs, habits, work, took the place of
other thoughts, and when I recalled this adventure I looked upon it as
one of those passions which one has when one is very young, and laughs
at soon afterward.