Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6
John Stuart Mill · en
voices unsupported by the voices of men were not worth imagining at all.
“Pippa passes. It is a matter of opinion.”
“It is a matter of fact. These voices are without depth of foundation.
What is this Pippa?”
“And yet you think that women can rise higher, and fall lower, than
men.”
She walked home amidst the procession of scenes, grouped and blending
all about her, free of their bondage to any thread of story, bathed in
music, beginning their life in her as memory, set up for ever amongst
her store of realities. It _had_ been a wonderful evening, opera _was_
wonderful. But the whole effect was threatened, as it stood so lovely
all about her in the night air, by his insistence upon a personal
interpretation, surprising her in the midst of the garden scene and
renewed now as they walked, by little attempts to accentuate the
relationship of their linked arms. Once more she held off the threatened
obliteration. But the scenes had retreated, far away beyond the darkness
and light of the visible street. With sudden compunction she felt that
it was she who had driven them away, driven away the wonders that were
after all his gift. If she had softened towards him, they would have
gone, just the same.... It was too soon to let them work as an
influence.
Absurd, too, to try to invent life which did not come of itself. He had
desisted and was away, fallen into his thoughtful forgetful singing,
brumming out shreds of melody that brought single scenes vividly
penetrating the darkness. She called him back with a busy repentance,
carelessly selecting from her thronging impressions a remark that
instantly seemed meaningless.
“Yes” he said heartily, “there is, absolutely, something echt,
kern-gesund about these old-German things.”
That was it. It had all meant, really, the same for him; and he knew
what it was that made the charm; admitting it, in spite of his strange
deep dislike of the Germans. Kern-Gesundheit was not a sufficient
explanation. But the certainty of his having been within the charm made
him real, a related part of the pageant of life, his personal engaging
small attribute her own undivided share. On the doorstep, side by side
with his renewed silent appeal, she turned and met, standing free, his
gentle tremulous salutation.
For a moment the dark silent house blazed into light before her. She
moved forward, as he opened the door, as into a brightness of light
where she should stand visible to them both, in a simplicity of golden
womanhood, no longer herself, but his Marguerite, yet so differently
fated, so differently identified with him in his new simplicity, going
forward together, his thoughts and visions as simple as her own in the
life now just begun, from which their past dropped away grey and cold,
the irrelevant experience of strangers.