The door flew open revealing a tall resentfully handsome butler past
whom she went confidently announcing her appointment, into an immense
hall, its distances leading in every direction to doors, suggesting a
variety of interiors beyond her experience. She was left standing.
Someone who had come up the steps as the door opened, was being swiftly
conveyed, a short squat polished wealthy old English Jew with curly grey
hair and an eager busy plunging gait, across the hall to the centremost
door. It opened on a murmur of voices and the light from within fell
upon a table just outside, its surface crowded with gleaming top-hats.
Some kind of men’s meeting was in progress. The woman was not in
it...... Had she anticipated, before she married, what it would be,
however she might fortify herself with scorn, to breathe always the
atmosphere of the Jewish religious and social oblivion of women? Had she
had any experience of Jewesses, their sultry conscious femineity, their
dreadful acceptance of being admitted to synagogue on sufferance,
crowded away upstairs in a stuffy gallery, while the men downstairs,
bathed in light, draped in the symbolic shawl, thanked God aloud for
making them men and not women? Had she thought what it must be to have
always at her side a Jewish consciousness, unconscious of her actuality,
believing in its own positive existence, seeing her as human only in her
consecration to relationships?
The returning butler ushered her unannounced through a doorway near at
hand into a room that spread dimly about her in a twilight deepened by a
single core of rosy light at the centre of the expanse. Through a high
curtain-draped archway she caught a glimpse, as she came forward, of a
further vastness, shadowy in undisturbed twilight.
Mrs. Bergstein had risen to meet her, her head obscured in the gloom
above the lamplight, so that only her gown met Miriam’s first sally of
investigation; a refined middle-class gown of thin dull black whose
elbow sleeves and little vee neck were softened at the edge with a ruche
of tulle; the party dress of a middle-aged spinster schoolmistress.
Miriam braced herself in vain against its seductions; it called her so
powerfully to come forth and rejoice. She revelled off, licensed and
permitted, the free deputy of this chained presence, amongst the
enchantments of the great house; the joy of her escapade leaping bright
against the dark certainty that there was no help awaiting her. It was
no longer to be feared that an unscrupulous, successful, brightly
cajoling woman would persuade her that her problem did not exist; but
neither from this woman to whom the fact of life as a thing in itself
never had time to appear, could she hope for support in her own belief
in the unsoundness of compromise.