Mrs. Bergstein bowed, murmured a greeting and indicated a little settee
near the low chair into which she immediately subsided, her face still
in shadow, the shape of her coiffure so much in keeping with the dress
that Miriam could hardly refrain from departing then and there. She sat
down, a schoolgirl waiting for judgment against which she was armed in
advance, and yet helpless through her unenvious, scornful admiration.
“I was much interested by your letter” said Mrs. Bergstein.
The interview was at an end. There was no opening in the smooth close
surface represented by the voice, through which questions could be
driven home. She was smitten into silence where the sound of the voice
echoed and re-echoed, whilst she fumbled for a suitable phrase, clinging
to the memory of the statement, still somewhere, which she had come, so
desperately, to hear and carry away and set down, a ray of light in the
darkness of her revolving thoughts. A numb forgetfulness assailed her,
threatening the disaster of irrelevance of speech or behaviour coming
from the tides of expression she felt beating below it. She forced a
murmured response from her lips, and the tumult was stilled to an echo
that flung itself to and fro within, answering the echo of the woman’s
voice on the air. She had caught hold and contributed. It was now the
turn of the other to go on and confirm what she had revealed......
“Music is so _beautiful_--so _elevating_.” “That depends upon the
music.” Never said. Kept treacherously back for the sake of things that
might be lost in a clashing of opinions ... the things they never
thought of in exercising their benevolence, and demanding in return
acceptance of their views ... the light of a whole world condensed in
the bright old town, the sweet chiming sound of it, coming in at the
windows, restoring childhood, the expanses of leisure made by their
small hard circle, a world of thoughtless ideas, turning a short
week-end into a life, lived before, familiar, building out in the nerves
a glorious vitality.....
It was the same voice, the English lady’s voice, bringing all
Christendom about her, all the traditions within which, so lately, she
had felt herself committed steadfastly to tread. But there was something
left out of it, a warmth was missing, it had not in it the glow that was
in those other women’s voices, of kindliness towards the generous things
they had secretly, willingly renounced. It had, instead, something that
was like a cold clean blade thrusting into an intelligible future,
something inexorable, founded not upon fixed ideas, but upon ideas,
single and cold. This woman would not make concessions; she would always
stand, uncompromisingly, in face of everyone, men and women, for the
same things, clear cut, delicate and narrowly determining as her voice.
“You are considering the possibility of embracing the Jewish faith?”