Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6
John Stuart Mill · en
“I’ll make some inquiries” said Miriam cheerfully. Mrs. Bailey thanked
her with weary eagerness; she was flushed and flagging; the evening’s
work was being cancelled by the fascination which had allowed her to go
on talking. She admitted a return of her neuralgia and Miriam,
remorseful and weary, made her lie down again. She looked dreadfully
ill; like someone else; she would go off to sleep looking like someone
else, or lie until the morning, with plans going round and round in her
head and get up, managing to be herself until breakfast was over. But
all the time, she had a house to be in. She was Mrs. Bailey; a
recognised centre. Miriam sat alone, the now familiar little room added
to the strange collection of her inexplicable life; its lamplit walls
were dear to her, with the extraordinary same dearness of all walls seen
in tranquillity. She seemed to be responding to their gaze. Had she
answered Mrs. Bailey’s murmur about going to bed? It seemed so long ago.
She sat until the lamp began to fail and Mrs. Bailey appeared to be
going to sleep. She crept out at last into the fresh still darkness of
the sleeping house. On the first floor there was a glimmer of blue
light. It was the street lamp shining in through Mr. Shatov’s wide-open
empty room. When she reached her own room she found that it was one
o’clock. _Already_ he had found his way to some horrible haunt. She
wrapped her evening round her, parrying the thought of him. There should
be no lesson to-morrow. She would be out, having left no message.
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