Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6
John Stuart Mill · en
These thoughts came every time; the sense of Mr. Shatov, busy, she
hoped, washing his face and hands down beyond the stairs leading to the
unknown privacies at the other end of the corridor, could not banish
them; the bearing of these ladies was the most mysterious thing in the
museum. In this room she was always on her guard. It was jolly after
roaming slowly across the courtyard towards the unfailing unchanging
beauty of the great grey pillars, pigeon-garlanded, to wander through
the out-branching hall to where the lame commissionaire held open the
magic door, and fly along the passage and break in here, permitted, cold
and grimy and ruffled from the street, and emerge washed and hatless and
rested, to saunter down the corridor and see ahead, before becoming one
of them, the dim various forms sitting in little circles of soft yellow
light under the high mysterious dome. But in one unguarded moment in
this room, all these women would turn into acquaintances, and the spell
of the museum, springing forth perhaps for a while, intensified, would
disappear for ever. They would turn it into themselves, varying and
always in the end, in silence, the same. In solitude it remained
unvarying yet never twice alike, casting its large increasing charm upon
them as they moved distant and unknown.
In the lower cloak-room there was always escape; no sofas, no grouped
forms. To-day it stood bare, its long row of basins unoccupied. She
turned taps joyously; icy cold and steaming hot water rushing to cleanse
her basin from its revealing relics. They were all the same, and all the
soaps, save one she secured from a distant corner, sloppy. Surveying,
she felt with irritated repugnance, the quality, slap-dash and unaware,
of the interchange accompanying and matching the ablutions. A woman came
out of a lavatory and stood at her side, also swiftly restoring a basin.
It was _she_.... Miriam envied the basin..... Freely watching the
peaceful face in the mirror, she washed with an intense sense of
sheltering companionship. Far in behind the peaceful face serene
thoughts moved, not to and fro, but outward and forward from some sure
centre. Perfectly screened, unknowing and unknown, she went about within
the charmed world of her inheritance. It was difficult to imagine what
work she might be doing, always here, and always moving about as if
unseeing and unseen. Round about her serenity any kind of life could
group, leaving it, as the foggy grime and the dusty swelter of London
left her, unsullied and untouched. But for the present she was here, as
if she moved, emerging from a spacious many-windowed sunlight flooded
house whose happy days were in her quiet hands, in clear light about the
spaces of a wide garden. Yet she was aware of the world about her. It
was not a matter of life and death to her that she should be free to
wander here in solitude. For those women she would have a quiet unarmed
confronting manner, at their service, but holding them off without