Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6
John Stuart Mill · en
Several people looked round, but he did not appear to notice them and
sat hunched, his overcoat coming up behind beyond his collar, his arms
thrust out over the table, ending in grubby clasped hands. In a moment
he was talking. Miriam sat taking in the change in the feeling of the
familiar place under the influence of his unconcerned presence. There
were the usual strangers strayed in from the galleries, little parties,
sitting exposed at the central tables near the door; not quite at home,
their eyes still filled with the puzzled preoccupation with which they
had wandered and gazed, the relief of their customary conversation held
back until they should have paid, out of their weary bewilderment some
tribute of suitable comment; looking about the room, watching in
separate uneasiness for material to carry them past the insoluble
problem. They were unchanged. But the readers stood out anew; the world
they had made for her was broken up. Those who came in twos and sat at
the more sequestered tables, maddening her with endless conversations at
cross purposes from unconsidered assumptions, were defeated. Their
voices were covered by Mr. Shatov’s fluent monologue, and though her own
voice, sounding startlingly in the room, seemed at once only an
exclamatory unpractised reproduction of these accustomed voices,
changing already their aspect and making her judgment of them rock
insecurely in her mind, it was threaded into his unconcerned reality and
would presently be real.
But the solitary readers, sitting in corners over books, or perched,
thoughtfully munching and sipping, with their backs to the room, on the
high stools at the refreshment counter, and presently getting down to
escape untouched and free, through the swing door, their unlifted eyes
recovering already, through its long glass panels, the living dream of
the hugely moving galleries, reproached her for her lost state.
Mr. Shatov’s dreaming face woke to prevent her adding milk to his tea,
and settled again, dwelling with his far off theme. She began listening
in detail to screen her base interest in her extravagant fare. “It is a
remarkable fact” he was saying and she looked up, astonished at the
sudden indistinctness of his voice. His eyes met hers severely, above
the rim of his cup, “but of almost universal application,” he proceeded
thickly, and paused to produce between his lips a saturated lump of
sugar. She stared, horrified. Very gravely, unattained by her disgust,
he drew in his tea in neat noiseless sips till the sugar disappeared
.... when he deftly extracted another lump from the basin and went on
with his story.