She welcomed the sound of Mrs. Orly’s voice, tired and animated at the
front door, and rose gladly as she came into the room with little bright
broken incoherent phrases, and the bright deep unwearied dauntless look
of welcome in her little tired face. She was swept into the den and kept
there for a prolonged tea-time, being questioned in detail about her
Christmas in Eve’s shop, seeing Mrs. Orly’s Christmas presents and
presently moving in and out of groups of people she knew only by name.
An extraordinary number of disasters had happened amongst them. She
listened without surprise. Always all the year round these people seemed
to live under the shadow of impending troubles. But Mrs. Orly’s dolorous
list made Christmas seem to be, for them, a time devoted to the
happening of things that crashed down in their midst, dealing out
life-long results. Mrs. Orly talked rapidly, satisfied with gestures of
sympathy, but Miriam was conscious that her sympathy was not falling
where it was demanded. She watched the family centres unmoved, her mind
hovering over their imagined houses, looking regretfully at the
shattered whole, the views from their windows that belonged to the past
and were suddenly strange as when they had first seen them; passing on
to their servants and friends and outwards into their social life,
following results as far as she could, the principal sufferers
impressing her all the time in the likeness of people who suddenly make
avoidable disturbances in the midst of a conversation. Driven back, from
the vast questioning silence at the end of her outward journey, to the
centres of Mrs. Orly’s pictures, she tried to dwell sympathetically with
the stricken people and fled aghast before their inexorable
circumstances. They were all so hemmed in, so closely grouped that they
had no free edges, and were completely, publicly at the mercy of the
things that happened. Everyone in social life was aware of this.
Experienced people said “there is always _something_,” “a skeleton in
every cupboard” ..... But why did people get into cupboards? Something
or someone was to blame. In some way that pressed through the picture
now in one form and now in another, just eluding expression in any
single statement she could frame, these bright-looking lives, free of
all that civilisation had to offer, were all to blame; all facing the
same way, unaware of anything but the life they lived among themselves,
they _made_ the shadow that hung over them all; they invited its sudden
descents ...... She felt that her thoughts were cruel; like an
unprovoked blow, worthy of instant revenge by some invisible observant
third party; but even while in the presence of Mrs. Orly’s sympathy she
accused herself of heartlessness and strove to retreat into a kindlier
outlook, she was aware, moving within her conviction, of some dim shape
of truth that no sympathy could veil.