At six o’clock the front door closed behind her, shutting her out into
the multitudinous pattering of heavy rain. With the sight of the
familiar street shortened by darkness to a span lit faintly by dull
rain-shrouded lamps, her years of daily setting forth into London came
about her more clearly than ever before as a single unbroken
achievement. Jubilantly she reasserted, facing the invitation flowing
towards her from single neighbourhoods standing complete and
independent, in inexhaustibly various loveliness through the procession
of night and day, linked by streets and by-ways living in her as mood
and reverie, that to have the freedom of London was a life in itself.
Incidents from Mrs. Orly’s conversation pressing forward through her
outcry, heightened her sense of freedom. If the sufferers were her own
kindred, if disaster threatened herself, walking in London, she would
pass into that strange familiar state, where all clamourings seemed
unreal and on in the end into complete forgetfulness.
Two scenes flashed forth from the panorama beyond the darkness and while
she glanced at the vagrants stretched asleep on the grass in the Hyde
Park summer, carefully to be skirted and yet most dreadfully claiming
her companionship, she saw, narrow and gaslit, the little unlocated
street that had haunted her first London years, herself flitting into
it, always unknowingly, from a maze of surrounding streets, feeling
uneasy, recognising it, hurrying to pass its awful centre where she must
read the name of a shop, and, dropped helplessly into the deepest pit of
her memory, struggle on through thronging images threatening, each time
more powerfully, to draw her willingly back and back through the
intervening spaces of her life to some deserved destruction of mind and
body, until presently she emerged faint and quivering, in a wide
careless thoroughfare. She had forgotten it; perhaps somehow learned to
avoid it. Her imagined figure passed from the haunted scene, and from
the vast spread of London the tide flowed through it, leaving it a
daylit part of the whole, its spell broken and gone. She struggled with
her stiffly opening umbrella, listening joyfully to the sound of the
London rain. She asked nothing of life but to stay where she was, to go
on ...... London was her pillar of cloud and fire, undeserved, but
unsolicited, life’s free gift. In still exultation she heard her
footsteps go down into the street and along the streaming pavement. The
light from a lamp just ahead fell upon a figure, plunging in a swift
diagonal across the muddy roadway towards her. He had come to meet her
... invading her street. She fled exasperated, as she slackened her
pace, before this postponement of her meeting with London, and silently
drove him off, as he swept round to walk at her side, asking him how he
dared unpermitted to bring himself, and the evening, and the evening
mood, across her inviolable hour. His overcoat was grey with rain and as