Girls: Faults and Ideals: A Familiar Talk, with Quotations from Letters — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Girls: Faults and Ideals: A Familiar Talk, with Quotations from Letters
John Stuart Mill · en
One writer notes as a fault in some young women, that they are _careless
of their good names_. "They are not careful enough as to their
associates and companions. Some of them are seen with young men who are
known to be of questionable moral character. On the streets they talk
loudly, so as unconsciously to attract attention to themselves. They act
so that young men of the looser sort will stare at them and even dare
to speak to them." In these and other ways, certain young women, this
writer says, imperil their own good name, and, I may add, imperil their
souls.
When will young girls learn that modesty and shrinking from public gaze
are the invariable marks of true beauty in womanhood; and that anything
which is contrary to these is a mark of vulgarity and ill-breeding?
Guard your name as the jewel of your life. Many a young woman with
pure life has lived under shadows all her later years, because of
some careless--only careless, not wrong--act in youth which had the
appearance of evil.
In one letter received from a thoughtful young man, mention is made of
a "disregard of health," as a common fault in young women. Another
mentions but one fault,--"the lack of glad earnestness." Another
specifies, "thoughtlessness, heedlessness, a disregard of the feelings
of others," Another thinks some young women "so weak and dependent
that they incur the risk of becoming a living embodiment of the wicked
proverb, 'So good that they are good for nothing.'" On the other hand,
however, one writer deplores just the reverse of this, the tendency
in young women to be independent, self-reliant, appearing not to need
protection and shelter.
Doubtless there is truth in both those criticisms: there are some young
women who are so dainty, so accomplished, so delicate, that they can be
of little use in this world. When misfortune comes to such and they
are thrown out of the cosy nest, they are in a most pitiable condition
indeed. They can do nothing to provide for themselves. Then there are
others who so pride themselves on their independence, that one of the
sweetest charms of womanhood is lost--the charm of gentle trustfulness.
I have suggested enough faults for one lesson,--perhaps as many as you
can carry in your mind, certainly as many as you can correct, although I
have not exhausted the list that I find in my correspondence. As I said
at the beginning, these faults are pointed out, not in the spirit of
criticism, but in the spirit of kindness, of truest interest, and with
desire to help. Many of them may seem very trivial faults, but small
specks stain the whiteness of a fair robe. "Little things make
perfection." You cannot afford to keep the least discovered fault in
your character or conduct, for little blemishes are the beginnings of
greater ones that by and by will destroy all the beauty of life.