Girls: Faults and Ideals: A Familiar Talk, with Quotations from Letters — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Girls: Faults and Ideals: A Familiar Talk, with Quotations from Letters
John Stuart Mill · en
"It is the little rift within the lute
That by and by will make music mute,
And, ever widening, slowly silence all--
The little rift within the lover's lute:
Or little pitted speck in garnered fruit,
That rotting inward, slowly moulders all."
Will you not, then, pray this prayer: "Cleanse thou me from secret
faults"? Do not try to hide your faults--hiding them does not cure them.
Every true woman wants to grow into perfect moral and spiritual beauty.
In order to do this, she wants to know wherein she fails, what blemishes
others see in her, what blemishes God sees in her. Then, as quickly as
she discovers the faults, she wants to have them removed. The old artist
Apelles had for his motto: "_Nulla dies sine linea_"--"No day without a
line." Will you not take this motto for yours, and seek every day to get
the victory over some little blemish, to get some fault corrected, to
get in your life a little more of the beauty of perfect womanhood?
Cleanse thou me, O Lord, from secret faults.
Now I turn your thoughts away from faults to ideals. The second question
was: "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal
of true young womanhood?" Here also I can give only very few of the
answers received.
Nearly every one emphasizes the element of _gentleness_. One says: "I
like to see a young lady kind and agreeable to all, yet dignified."
"Gentle in speech, voice, and manner; full of love for her home, yet
firm and decided in her convictions," says another. One sums up his
ideal in these particulars: "An unspotted character, a cheerful
disposition, a generous, untiring heart, and a brave will." Nearly all
put strength with gentleness, in some form. "All the firmness that does
not exclude delicacy, and all the softness that does not imply weakness.
Loving, helpful, and trusting, she must be able to soothe anxiety by
her presence; charm and allay irritability by her sweetness of temper."
Another writes: "A beauty of spirit in which love, gentleness, and
kindness are mingled. Patience and meekness, fortitude, a well-governed
temper, sympathy, and tenderness," Says another: "Kind, courteous,
humble, and affectionate to old and young, rich and poor, yet ambitious
to right limits." One young man writes: "Loving and kind, a Christian
in heart and arts; a character based on Christ and his teachings." Then
follows this noble tribute: "My own mother has lived and proved this
ideal for me."
Of this tenor are all the letters. Without gentleness no woman can be
truly beautiful. Cruelty in a man is a sad disfigurement, but in a woman
it is the marring of all her loveliness.
_Purity_ is another element which, in many of the letters, is
emphasized. I need not quote the words. I need only remind you that
purity must have its home in the heart, if it is to be the glory of the
life. "Blessed are the pure in heart," is the Master's beatitude. "You
are pure, you say; are your thoughts as white