106. A devout Gentleman, being very earnest in his Prayers, in the Church, it happened that a Pick-Pocket being near him, stole away his _Watch_, who having ended his Prayers, mist it, and complained to his Friend, that his _Watch_ was lost, while he was at Prayers; to which his friend reply'd, _Had you watch'd as well as pray'd, your Watch had been secure, adding these following Lines_. _He that a Watch will wear, this must he do, Pocket his Watch, and watch his Pocket too._ 107. _George Ch----n_, who was always accounted a very blunt Speaker, asking a young Lady one Day, what it was o'Clock, and she telling him her Watch _stood_, I don't wonder at that, Madam, said he, when it is so near your ----. 108. A modest Gentlewoman being compelled by her Mother to accuse her Husband of Defect, and being in the Court, she humbly desired of the Judge, that she might write her Mind, and not be obliged to speak it, for Modesty's sake; the Judge gave her that Liberty, and a Clerk was immediately commanded to give her Pen, Ink, and Paper, whereupon she took the Pen without dipping it into the Ink, and made as if she would write; says the Clerk to her, Madam, there is no Ink in your Pen. _Truly, Sir_, says she, _that's just my Case, and therefore I need not explain myself any further_. 109. A Lieutenant Colonel to one of the _Irish_ Regiments, in the _French_ Service, being dispatched by the Duke of _Berwick_, from _Fort Kehl_, to the King of _France_, with a Complaint, relating to some Irregularities, that had happened in the Regiment; his _Majesty_, with some Emotion of Mind, told him, _That the_ Irish _Troops gave him more Uneasiness than all his Forces besides_. _Sir_, (says the Officer) _all your Majesty's Enemies make the same Complaint_. 110. Mr. _G----n_, the Surgeon being sent for to a Gentleman, who had just received a slight Wound in a Rencounter, gave Orders to his Servant to go Home with all haste imaginable, and fetch a certain Plaister; the Patient turning a little Pale, Lord, Sir, said he, _I hope there is no Danger_. _Yes, indeed is there_, answered the Surgeon, _for if the Fellow don't set up a good pair of Heels, the Wound will heal before he returns_. 111. Not many Years ago, a certain Temporal Peer, having in a most pathetick and elaborate Speech, exposed the Vices and Irregularities of the Clergy, and vindicated the Gentlemen of the Army from some Imputations unjustly laid upon them: A Prelate, irritated at the Nature, as well as the Length of the Speech, _desired to know when the Noble Lord would leave off preaching_. The other answer'd, _The very Day he was made a Bishop_.