112. It chanc'd that a Merchant Ship was so violently tossed in a Storm at Sea that all despairing of Safety, betook themselves to Prayer, saving one Mariner, who was ever wishing to see two _Stars_: Oh! said he, that I could but see two Stars, or but one of the Two, and of these Words he made so frequent Repetition, that, disturbing the Meditations of the rest, at length one asked him, what two Stars, or what one Star he meant? To whom he reply'd, _O! that I could but see the Star in Cheapside, or the Star in_ Coleman-street, _I care not which_. 113. A Country Fellow subpoeena'd for a Witness upon a Trial on an Action of Defamation, he being sworn, the Judge had him repeat the very same Words he had heard spoken; the Fellow was loath to speak, but humm'd and haw'd for a good Space, but being urged by the Judge, he at last spoke, _My Lord_, said he, _You are a Cuckold_: The Judge seeing the People begin to laugh, called to him, and had him speak to the _Jury, there were twelve of them_. 114. A Courtier, who was a Confident of the Amours of _Henry_ IV. of _France_, obtained a Grant from the King, for the Dispatch whereof he applyed himself to the Lord High Chancellor: Who finding some Obstacle in it, the Courtier still insisted upon it, and would not allow of any Impediment, _Que chacun se mêle de son Metier_, said the Chancellor to him; that is, _Let every one meddle with his own Business_. The Courtier imagining he reflected upon him for his pimping; _my Employment_, said he, _is such, that, if the King were twenty Years younger I would not exchange it for three of your's_. 115. A Gentlewoman, who thought her Servants always cheated her, when they went to _Billingsgate_ to buy Fish, was resolved to go thither one Day herself, and asking the Price of some Fish, which she thought too dear, she bid the Fish-Wife about half what she asked; Lord, Madam, said the Woman, I must have stole it to sell it at that Price, but you shall have it if you will tell me what you do to make your Hands look so white; Nothing, good Woman, answered the Gentlewoman, but wear _Dog-Skin Gloves_: D--mn you for a lying Bitch, reply'd the other, my Husband has wore _Dog-Skin Breeches_ these ten Years, and his A--se is as brown as a Nutmeg. 116. Dr. _Heylin_, a noted Author, especially for his _Cosmography_, happened to lose his Way going to _Oxford_, in the Forest of _Whichwood_: Being then attended by one of his Brother's Men, the Man earnestly intreated him to lead the Way; but the Doctor telling him he did not know it: _How!_ said the Fellow, _that's very strange that you, who have made a Book of the whole World, cannot find the Way out of this little Wood_. 117. Monsieur _Vaugelas_ having obtained a Pension from the _French_ King, by the Interest of Cardinal _Richelieu_, the Cardinal told him, he hoped he would not forget the Word _Pension_ in his Dictionary. No, my Lord, said _Vaugelas_, nor the Word _Gratitude_.