118. A melting Sermon being preached in a Country Church, all fell a weeping but one Man, who being asked, why he did not weep with the rest? O! said he, _I belong to another Parish_. 119. A Gentlewoman growing big with Child, who had two Gallants, one of them with a wooden Leg, the Question was put, which of the two should father the Child. He who had the wooden Leg offer'd to decide it thus. _If the Child_, said he, _comes into the World with a wooden Leg, I will father it, if not, it must be your's_. 120. A Gentleman who had been out a shooting brought home a small Bird with him, and having an _Irish_ Servant, he ask'd him, if he had shot that little Bird, yes, he told him; Arrah! by my Shoul, Honey, reply'd the _Irish_ Man, it was not worth Powder and Shot, for this little Thing would have _died in the Fall_. 121. The same _Irishman_ being at a Tavern where the Cook was dressing some Carp, he observed that some of the Fish moved after they were gutted and put in the Pan, which very much surprizing Teague, well, now, faith, said he, _of all the Christian Creatures that ever I saw, this same Carp will live the longest after it is dead_. 122. A Gentleman happening to turn up against an House to make Water, did not see two young Ladies looking out of a Window close by him, 'till he heard them giggling, then looking towards them, he asked, what made them so merry? O! Lord, Sir, said one of them, _a very little Thing_ will make us laugh. 123. A Gentleman hearing a Parson preach upon the Story of the Children being devoured by the two _She Bears_, who reviled the old Man, and not much liking his Sermon; some Time after seeing the same Parson come into the Pulpit to preach at another Church: O ho! said he, _What are you here with your_ Bears _again_. 124. A young Fellow riding down a steep Hill, and doubting that the Foot of it was boggish, call'd out to a Clown that was ditching, and ask'd him, if it was hard at the Bottom: Ay, ay, answered the Countryman, it's hard enough at the Bottom I'll warrant you: But in half a Dozen Steps the Horse sunk up to the Saddle Skirts, which made the young Gallant whip, spur, curse and swear, why thou Whoreson Rascal, said he, to the Ditcher, did'st thou not tell me it was hard at Bottom? _Ay_, reply'd the other, _but you are not half Way to the Bottom yet_. 125. It was said of one who remembered every Thing that he lent, but quite forgot what he borrowed, _That he had lost half his Memory_. 126. One speaking of _Titus Oats_, said, he was a Villain in Grain, and deserved to be well _threshed_. 127. It was said of _Henry_, Duke of _Guise_, that he was the greatest Usurer in all _France_, for he had turned all his Estate into _Obligations_, meaning, he had sold and mortgaged his Patrimony, to make Presents to other Men.