72. King Henry VIII. designing to send a nobleman on an embassy to Francis I. at a very dangerous juncture, he begged to be excused, saying, such a threatening message to so hot a prince as Francis I. might go near to cost him his life. Fear not, said old Harry, if the French king should offer to take away your life, I would revenge you by taking off the heads of many Frenchmen now in my power. But of all those heads, replied the nobleman, there may not be one to fit my shoulders. 73. A parson preaching a tiresome sermon on happiness or bliss; when he had done, a gentleman told him he had forgot one sort of happiness: Happy are they that did not hear your sermon. 74. A country fellow, who was just come to London, gaping about in every shop he came to, at last looked into a scrivener’s, where seeing only one man sitting at a desk, he could not imagine what commodity was sold there; but calling to the clerk, Pray, sir, said he, what do you sell here?―Loggerheads, cried the other. Do you? answered the countryman; egad, then you’ve a special trade; for I see you have but one left. 75. Manners, who was himself but lately made Earl of Rutland, told Sir Thomas More, He was too much elated by his preferment; that he verified the old proverb, “Honores mutant Mores.” No, my lord, said Sir Thomas, the pun will do much better in English, “Honors change Manners.” 76. A mayor of Yarmouth, in ancient times, being by his office a justice of the peace, and one who was willing to dispense the laws wisely, though he could hardly read, got him the statute book, where, finding a law against firing a beacon, or causing any beacon to be fired, after nine of the clock at night; the poor man read it, frying bacon or causing any bacon to be fried; and accordingly went out the next night upon the scent, and being directed by his nose to the carrier’s house, he found the man and his wife both frying of bacon, the husband holding the pan while the wife turned it; being thus caught in the fact, and having nothing to say for themselves, his worship committed them both to jail without bail or mainprize. 77. The late facetious Mr. Spiller, being at the rehearsal, on a Saturday morning, the time when the actors are usually paid, was asking another, Whether Mr. Wood, the treasurer of the house, had anything to say to them that morning: No, faith, Jemmy, replied the other, I’m afraid there’s no cole―(which is a cant word for money). Then, said Spiller, if there’s no cole we must burn Wood.