I heard this intelligence, conveyed in the garrulous manner of my maid, as a condemned prisoner might hear the reading of his death warrant. I saw that nothing could shake my mother in her purpose. She was resolved to accomplish the marriage at all hazards. In the morning I was to be married, transferred body and soul to the possession of a man whom I hated in my very heart. But I resolved that he should not possess me living. He might marry me, but he should only place the bridal ring upon the hand of a corpse. The resolution came in a moment. How to accomplish it was next my thought. Approaching Caroline in a guarded manner, I spoke of my nervousness and loss of sleep, and of a vial of _morphine_ which my mother kept by her for a nervous affection. "Could you not obtain it for me, Caroline? and without my mother seeing you, for she does not like me to accustom myself to the use of morphine. I am sadly in want of sleep, but I am so nervous that I cannot close my eyes. Get it for me," I put my arms about her neck--"that's a dear good girl." "Laws, Miss, how kin one resist your purty eyes! It is in the casket on the bureau, is it? Just wait a moment;" she left the room and presently returned. She held the vial in her hand. I took it eagerly, pretended to place it in the drawer of a cabinet which stood near the bed, but, in reality, hid it in my bosom. "Now mother, you may force on the marriage," I mentally ejaculated; "but your daughter has the threads of her own destiny in her hand." How had I accustomed myself to the idea of suicide? It came upon me not slowly, but like a flash of lightning. It was in opposition to all the lessons I had learned from the good clergyman. 'But,' the voice of the tempter, seemed whispering in my ear--'while suicide is a crime, it becomes a virtue when it is committed to avoid a greater crime.' It is wrong to kill my body, but infinitely worse to kill both body and soul in the prostitution of an unholy marriage. As evening drew on I was left alone. I bathed myself, arranged my hair, and then attired myself in my white night-robe. And then, as the last glimpse of day came faintly through the window curtains, I sank on my knees by the bed, and prayed. O how in one vivid picture the holy memories of the past came upon me, in that awful moment! "Ernest I will meet you in the better world!" I drank the contents of the vial and rose to my feet. At the same instant the door opened and my mother appeared, holding a lighted candle in her hand. She saw me in my white dress, was struck, perchance, by the wildness of my gaze, and then her eye rested upon the extended hand which held the vial. "Well, Frank, how do you like your marriage dress," she began, but stopped, and changed color as she saw the vial. "O, mother," I cried, "with my last breath I forgive you, and pray God that you may be able to forgive yourself." I saw her horror-stricken look and I fell insensible at her feet. CHAPTER XIV.