Oberland : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 9 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Oberland : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 9
John Stuart Mill · en
They reached details. One of them was on her way home to a place with a
tripping gentle name, a fairy keep agleam on a lakeside amidst
mountains. To her it was dailiness, life as now she knew it, a hemmed-in
loneliness. Visitors came from afar. Found it full of poetry. Saw her
perhaps as a part of it, a figure of romance.
When their patient voices ceased they were ghosts. Not even ghosts, for
they seemed uncreated, seemed never to have lived and yet to preside
over life, fixed in their places, an inexorable commentary. Each sat
staring before her into space, patient and isolated, undisguised
isolation. To imagine them alert and busied with their families about
them made them no less sad. Immovable at the centre of their lives was
loneliness, its plaints silenced, its source forgotten or unknown.
Of what use traveller’s joy? Frivolous, unfounded, dependent altogether
on oblivions.
One of them was rummaging in a heavy sack made of black twill and corded
at the neck. Toys, she said, were there—“_pour mes p’tits enfants_.”
“_Ça porte beaucoup de soins, les enfants_,” said the other, and
compressed dry lips. The first agreed and they sat back, each in her
corner, fallen into silence. Children to them seemed to be not persons
but a material, an unvarying substance wearily known to them both and to
be handled in that deft adjusting way of the French. Satisfied with this
mutual judgment on life, made in camera, they relapsed into
contemplation, leaving the air weighted with their shared, secretly
scornful, secretly impatient resignation.
Yet they were fortunate. Laden with wealth they did not count. It spoke
in their complacency. Aspiration asleep. They looked for joy in the
wrong place. In this they were humanity, blindly pursuing its way. Their
pallid plump faces, so salient, could smile impersonally. Their heads
were well-poised above shapely subdued bodies.
* * * * *
Now that it was empty and the blinds drawn up, the carriage seemed all
window, letting in the Swiss morning that was mist opening here and
there upon snow still greyed by dawn. Through the one she had just
pushed up came life, smoothing away the traces of the night. She lay
back in her corner and heard with closed eyes the steady voice of the
train. The rattle and clatter of its night-long rush through France
seemed to be checked by a sense of achievement, as if now it took its
ease, delighting in the coming of day, in the presence of this
Switzerland for whose features it was watching through the mist.
Incredible that in this same carriage where now she was at peace in
morning light she had sat through a flaming darkness, penned and
enduring. Lifting weary eyes she boldly surveyed it, saw the soilure and
shabbiness the gaslight had screened, saw a friend, grimed with
beneficent toil, and turned once more blissfully towards the window and
its view of thin mist and dawn-greyed snowfields.