Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7
John Stuart Mill · en
They were _Puritans_.... More wonderful than she had known in thinking
of them as nonconformists, a disgrace her father had escaped together
with the trade he had abandoned in youth. They were the Puritans she had
read of; but not Cromwellian, certainly not Roundheads. Though they were
tall and gaunt with strongly moulded features, their thoughtless,
generous English ancestry showed in them, moulded by their sternness to
a startling ... _beauty_. They had well-shaped hands, alive and speaking
amongst their rich silks and fine old laces. They wore with a dignified
austerity, but still they wore, and must therefore have thought about,
silk and lace and broadcloth and fine frilled linen, as well as the sin
in themselves and in the world. But principally they were aware of sin,
gazing with stern meditative eyes, through the pages of their gloomily
bound books, into the abyss yawning at their feet. She held herself in
her place, growing bolder, longing now for parley with their silent
resistance, disguising nothing, offering them pell-mell, the least
suitable of her thoughts. But the eyes they turned on her, still
dreadfully begging her to remember now, in the days of her youth, were
kind, lit by a special smiling indulgence.... Their strong stern lives,
full of the knowledge of experience, that had led down to her, had made
them _kind_. However far she might stray, she was still their favourite,
their different stubby round-faced darling, never to be condemned to the
abyss. Listening as they called to their part in her, she shared the
salvation they had wrought ... salvage ... of hard fine lives, reared
narrowly, in beauty, above the gulf.
Yet it was also from their incompleteness that they called to her; the
_darkness_ in them, visible in the air about them as they moved, that
she had always feared and run away from. The thought of the stern gaunt
chairs in which they sat and died of old age was horrible even at this
moment, and now that she no longer feared them, she knew, though she
felt a homesick longing for their stern righteousness, that it was
incomplete. The pressing darkness kept them firm, fighting the devil
every inch of the way....
But the devil was not dark, he was bright. Brightest and best of the
sons of the morning. What shocking profanity. Something has made me
drunk. I am always drunk in the west-end. Satan was proud. God revenged
himself. Revengeful, omnipotent, jealous, "the first of the autocrats."
...