At the same time I was becoming more and more assured in my own mind
that his death was the result of his own act, and, had it not been for
the difficulty of imagining a reason for it, could have retired to rest
that night with a feeling of real security in the justness of a
conclusion that so exonerated the man I loved. As it was, that secret
doubt still remained like a cloud over my hopes, a doubt which I had
promised myself should be entirely removed before I allowed my
partiality for Mr. Pollard to take upon itself the character of
partisanship. I therefore continued my explorations through the room.
Mr. Barrows' desk presented to me the greatest attraction of any thing
there; one that was entirely of the imagination, of course, since
nothing could have induced me to open it, notwithstanding every key
stood in its lock, and one of the drawers was pulled a little way out.
Only the law had a right to violate his papers; and hard as it was to
deny myself a search into what was possibly the truest exponent of his
character, I resolutely did so, consoling myself with the thought that
if any open explanation of his secret had been in these drawers, it
would have been produced at the inquest.
As for his books, I felt no such scruples. But then, what could his
books tell me? Nothing, save that he was a wide student and loved the
delicate and imaginative in literature. Besides, I had glanced at many
of the volumes, in my search after the one which had held the
engraving. Yet I did pause a minute and run my eye along the shelves,
vaguely conscious, perhaps, that often in the most out-of-the-way
corners lurks the secret object for which we are so carefully seeking.
But I saw nothing to detain me, and after one brief glance at a strong
and spirited statuette that adorned the top shelf, I hurried on to a
small table upon which I thought I saw a photographic album.