The mill of silence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The mill of silence
John Stuart Mill · en
“Ah,” he said; “and the girl--did she hear?”
“She couldn’t help it, dad. But she can’t have noticed much, for she
never even referred to it afterward.”
“Which looks bad, and so much for your profound knowledge of the sex.”
He looked at me keenly for some moments from under his matted
eyebrows; then muttered as if to himself:
“Here’s a growing lad, and loyal, I believe. What if I took him a yard
into my confidence?”
“Oh, yes, dad,” I said, eagerly. “You can trust me, indeed you can. I
only want to be of some use.”
He slightly shook his head, then seemed to wake up all of a sudden.
“There,” he said; “be off, like a good boy, and don’t worry me a
second time. You meant well, and I’m not offended.”
“Yes, dad,” I said a little sadly, and was turning to go, when he
spoke to me again:
“And if the girl should mention this matter--you know what--to you,
say what I tell you now--that Dr. Crackenthorpe thinks your father can
tell him where more coins are to be found like the one I gave him that
night; but that your father can’t and is under no obligation to Dr.
Crackenthorpe--none whatever.”
So I left him, puzzled, a little depressed, but proud to be the
recipient of even this crumb of confidence on the part of so reserved
and terrible a man.
Still I could not but feel that there was something inconsistent in
his words to me and those I had heard him address to the doctor.
Without a doubt his utterances on the road had pointed to a certain
recognition of the necessity of bribing the other to silence.
CHAPTER VI.
THE NIGHT BEFORE.
Full of dissatisfaction I wandered into the shed and loitered
aimlessly about. As I stood there Jason came clattering homeward, his
coat collar turned up and his curly head bowed to the deluge.
“So you got home before me?” he said, shaking himself and squeezing
his cap out as he spoke.
“Yes; we came straight.”
“It was lovely in the meads, wasn’t it?” said he, with an odd glance
at me.
“It’s been lovely all this May,” said I.
“And that means a fat churchyard. Old Rottengoose says: ‘A cold May
and windy makes a full barn and findy.’ A queer one, old Peg is. She’d
die if she cast a woolen before the first of June. I wonder what she’d
think of sitting under a hedge in a northeaster?”
I started a little and shot a look askance at my brother. Could he
have seen us? But his next words reassured me.
“Or of falling asleep in the shade, as I did, till the rain on my face
woke me up.”
“Then you didn’t see us pass----” I began and stopped.
“See what? I saw nothing but my eyelids and the sky through ’em.”
I gave a sigh of relief. My feelings toward Zyp were boyish and
bashful and innocent enough, heaven knows; but in the shadow of my
rough past they were beginning to glimmer out so strange and sweet
that the merest suspicion of their incurring publicity filled me with
a shame-faced terror of ridicule that was agony.