The Senator's Bride — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Senator's Bride
John Stuart Mill · en
"Since this is your decision," she answered, in calm tones, that belied
her tortured heart, "would it not be as well to separate altogether?
Would not your freedom be better insured by a complete divorce from one
who has so deeply deceived you that it seems impossible to trust her
again? I confess that it is irksome to me to live upon the splendors
your wealth supplies while I am an exile and an alien from your heart.
Once fairly divorced, and we could go away--my baby and I--and never
trouble you again. I have worked for myself before; I am sure I can do
it again."
He glared at her speechless, her cool, quiet words stinging him
sharply, and widening the gulf between them. Before it was a turbulent
stream; now a rushing river.
"And then you might be Bruce Conway's wife," he says, bitterly, at
last, "and be happy ever after in his love. Is that what you mean, fair
lady?"
"Oh, no, no, no! I should never marry again! I should not want to--nor
dare to! Oh, Heaven, what has love ever brought me but agony?" with a
despairing gesture of her clenched white hand.
"Ta, ta!" he says, with a light, sarcastic laugh. "You should not
judge the future by the past. You 'may be happy yet,' as one of your
songs prettily expresses it. Certainly, you may have a divorce if you
wish, only,"--stooping to lift his boy in his arms--"in that case, you
know, the law will give this dear little fellow into my sole care and
keeping; though, of course, the blissful bride of Conway will not miss
the child of the man she never loved."
If that last taunt struck home she did not betray it, save that she
whitened to her lips as she slowly reiterated his words.
"The law would take my baby from me?"
"Yes, of course; that is the law of the land--do you still desire to
have a divorce?"
"Oh, God, no! I never did, except for your sake. I felt myself to be a
burden on your unwilling hands, on your unwilling heart, and I simply
could not bear the thought. But my baby--don't take him from me, Paul!
I have suffered until I thought I could bear no more, and that, oh!
that would be death. He is all I have to love me now."
She caught her child from his arms and held him strained to her beating
heart, feeling for the first time the awful agony of a mother's dread
of losing her loved one. Her husband looked at her with no trace of his
feelings written on his still face, and merely said:
"Do not fear; I shall not take him from you, unless in the event to
which we have alluded. But I hope you will let me see him while he is
so near me. When do you propose to leave Washington?"
"On the day after to-morrow. I only came yesterday."
"Ah! then I shall look for Norah, to-morrow--you have Norah with you?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then I shall expect Norah and my baby to call on me quite punctually,
at ten to-morrow. I want to see all I can of the little fellow while he
is here."