The Shadow of the Past — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Shadow of the Past
John Stuart Mill · en
When he had satisfied himself that she was not on the beach, he regained
the road, and deliberately turned his steps in the direction he had
taken with her that morning. The house where she was staying loomed
large in the darkness; and, as he strolled up the sandy roadway, he was
conscious of the scent of the oleanders, tall trees of which, in a pink
and white confusion, leaned over towards the road. The air was heavy
with their fragrance, and warm and still. In the stillness the murmur
of the sea followed him, resembling in its muffled monotony the almost
outdistanced murmuring of a large concourse of people, uttering an
insistent complaint. Lights gleamed fitfully from the open windows of
the house, and upon the stoep and balcony people were grouped in small
parties of twos and threes, contented, after dinner groups, enjoying the
restful dusk which succeeded the heat and glare of the day. If Miss
Upton had been there he could not have judged; it was not light enough
to distinguish clearly, and the view he got was interrupted and shadowed
with the trees.
When he had passed the house he turned, abruptly and retraced his
footsteps, and walked back to his hotel, which he reached with a most
unaccustomed feeling of weariness as a result of his long tramp. He
discovered when he got back that Holman had returned. He came upon him
in the vestibule, and was able to greet him with no trace of his former
irritation. He had walked that mood off, or had got the better of it
somehow.
Holman was in excellent spirits. He wanted to talk, and suggested
whisky and a smoke and a retired corner; and Matheson, infected with his
bonhomie, managed to throw off the despondency that had weighed upon him
all day and respond to his genial humour.
Before they separated for the night, rather unexpectedly, and yet in a
manner which seemed to suggest that he had deliberately led up to the
subject, Holman made an allusion to the cards, and to the other's run of
ill luck, which he prophesied must turn shortly.
"It can't hold for ever," he asserted. "I'll play you to-morrow double
or quits."
"It's no good," Matheson answered. "If I lost I couldn't pay, and I'm
not taking on a debt to hang like a millstone round my neck for years."
"I'll tell you what I will do." Holman's hand fell warmly on the
other's shoulder... "I can't clear you out without giving you a chance
of winning back. If you lose you can pay me in service."
"That depends," Matheson answered, and scrutinised the speaker closely,
"on what the service is."
"Well, of course." There was a long pause.
"We will go into that to-morrow," came the slow response.
CHAPTER FOUR.