The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
At this, some demon in me broke loose, and springing to her side I
caught her hands in mine.
"Do not dare to talk of God!" I said in passionate accents; "Not in this
room,--not in _that_ presence! Why should you call curses down upon me?
The help of God means punishment,--the consolations of God are terrible!
For strength must acknowledge itself weak before He will help it,--and a
heart must be broken before He will console it! But what do I say!--I
believe in _no_ God--! I believe in an unknown Force that encompasses me
and hunts me down to the grave, but nothing more. _She_ thought as I
do,--and with reason,--for what has God done for her? She was made evil
from the first,--a born snare of Satan...."
Something caught my breath here,--I stopped, unable to utter another
word. Mavis stared at me affrighted, and I stared back again.
"What is it?" she whispered alarmedly. I struggled to speak,--finally,
with difficulty I answered her--
"Nothing!"
And I motioned her away with a gesture of entreaty. The expression of my
face must have startled or intimidated her I fancy, for she retreated
hastily and I watched her disappearing as if she were the phantom of a
dream,--then, as she passed out through the boudoir, I drew close the
velvet portiére behind her and locked the intermediate door. This done I
went slowly back to the side of my dead wife.
"Now Sibyl,"--I said aloud--"we are alone, you and I--alone with our own
reflected images,--you dead, and I living! You have no terrors for me in
your present condition,--your beauty has gone. Your smile, your eyes,
your touch cannot stir me to a throb of the passion you craved, yet
wearied of! What have you to say to me?--I have heard that the dead can
speak at times,--and you owe me reparation,--reparation for the wrong
you did me,--the lie on which you based our marriage,--the guilt you
cherished in your heart! Shall I read your petition for forgiveness
here?"