The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
His defeat staggered Sinclair. He had been so sure that his luck was
in, so confident of the girl's affection, and unsuspicious of a possible
rival. He knew of no one with whom she was on terms of particular
intimacy. It never entered his thoughts to associate Hallam with her in
any way. He had not seen the development of that acquaintance. He
would have disapproved if he had. His naturally healthy mind held only
contempt for such weakness as Hallam's. He had summed up the man
briefly as a waster, and so disposed of him. That the man he despised
would one day have to be reckoned with, that he stood already in his
life, a menace to his happiness, an adverse influence, he was wholly
unaware. It was as well for his peace of mind that he remained in
ignorance for long after she had refused him of his rival's identity. A
rival who did not materialise left room for a tiny gleam of hope in his
heart.
"We'd better get back," he said, and rose from the seat. The beauty of
the night held no longer any attraction for him.
"I want to go home," she said, rising also. "I'm tired, and--I want to
go home."
He took her back to the hall and waited while she fetched her cloak.
She came out after a brief while, white faced and pensive, with a look
in her eyes as though she had been crying and had dashed the tears
hastily away.
He drew her hand through his arm and went with her out into the warm,
still night, along the deserted streets, up White's Road, traversing the
intervening byways to her own road almost in silence. At her door he
said good-night, and was turning away when she stopped him. Her heart
ached with pity for the sadness in his eyes.
"George, I'm sorry," she whispered, and tugged at his sleeve.
"That's all right," he answered, breaking away from her.
His voice sounded husky and a little gruff; he could not trust himself
to say more. She drew back, feeling troubled and inadequate, and stood
on the doorstep looking after him wistfully while he hurried down the
road in the moonlight, turned a corner and went out of her sight. She
had an impulse to run after him: she felt that she must say something,
do something, anything, to drive the pain and disappointment from his
look; it hurt her to let him go like that. But on reflection she knew
that she could do nothing; she must let him go.
She opened the door and went dejectedly inside and shut it quickly and
turned the key in the lock. Softly she crept upstairs to her room. The
blind was not drawn and the moonlight streamed in through the open
window and made any other illumination unnecessary.
She seated herself on the side of the bed and stared out at the black
shadow of the tree with its clusters of blossoms showing palely in the
white light. The household she supposed was asleep; everything was very
still and quiet. In the distance a dog barked incessantly: there was no
other sound to disturb the quiet of the night.