The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
"I love you," he mumbled presently, and took heart of grace when the
words were out and pulled her swiftly to him and kissed her. "Dear, I
love you with all my soul. I want to marry you."
Very gently she freed herself from his hold, and drew back, and sat
scrutinising him with ever growing distress. She liked him so well.
She hated having to hurt him; but it had never occurred to her that he
was in love with her. His affection had seemed so frankly friendly
hitherto.
"George, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know. I don't feel towards
you like that."
"Perhaps not now. But you will," he suggested. "I've been a little
abrupt. I ought to have waited."
"It wouldn't have made any difference," she said.
"Are you sure?"
"Quite sure. I'm very fond of you; but that's all," she added
convincingly.
"Well, look here! I'm not taking `No' right off like that. I'm going
to wait--"
"No," she interrupted quickly. "You mustn't think that. I shan't
change."
His face fell.
"You don't mean that there is some one else?" he asked.
For a moment or two she did not answer; then she nodded, without
speaking, and put out a hand and touched his arm.
"My dear," she said, "don't ask me questions. It is quite possible that
I shall never marry the man I love, but I cannot marry any one else.
I'm sorry. I didn't think you cared for me like that. I wish you
didn't. You must put me out of your thoughts."
He smiled faintly.
"That's not easily done," he replied. "Besides, I don't want to. Like
you, I may never marry the girl I love, but at least I cannot love any
one else. You are the one and only girl for me. I know. I'm not a
moonstruck boy. You'll let me keep your friendship, won't you? I won't
take advantage of it."
Tears came into her eyes. She had never liked him so much as in that
moment. The idea of giving up his friendship had not occurred to her
until he begged the privilege of retaining it. She did not want to give
it up. It was one of the pleasant things in her life.
"I want to continue being friends," she said. "I've grown to look on
you as a chum. That's how I've always thought of you. I want to be
friends--and to put this other thing out of my thoughts."
"Yes," he agreed. "We'll wipe that out. I made a mistake. You know,
dear,"--he felt for her hand and found it and held it tightly,--"I think
you are the sweetest girl in the world. I'll do anything for you. For
the present I'm feeling a bit sore, and just for a little while will
keep in the background. When I turn up again I'll be over the worst of
it, and you needn't fear that I shall make a fool of myself. We'll take
things up where we dropped them."