The trap : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 8 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The trap : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 8
John Stuart Mill · en
She raised the heavy knocker and tapped. The sounds echoed down the
empty court and left a stillness into which flowed her own tremulous
stillness. Down the street a black cat came towards her, serene and
unnoticing, keeping aloof along the centre of the way.
Yet she was an inhabitant of Flaxman’s Court. Up there, on the upper
floors of the house that remained so quiet before her claim were rooms
as quiet, her own. Soon she would daily be slipping out into this small
brightness, daily coming back to it, turning from strident thoroughfares
to enter its sudden peace.
She knocked again, more loudly. If Miss Holland were not there, she was
shut out. But certainly the door would open. She knew, so careless was
her spirit, that she was not shut out. In a moment there came the sound
of boots upon uncarpeted stairs. The door opened; but not upon Miss
Holland. There before her was the dark passage that skirted the little
shop and led to the staircase, the way up to the quiet, eager, empty
rooms, obstructed.
Since he stood aside, welcoming, and greeted her by name, the man could
be none other than the landlord. An unconsidered item, appearing at the
outset. Not only postponing joy, but enhancing it; for if this meeting
were its price, how good must be what lay ahead.
She hoped that during the swift moment of confronting once more this
long-forgotten way of being, that she had shown no sign of antipathy.
She could not be sure, for in that moment she had been back again in
bitter conflict. The shape was a duplicate. The same tall, grey-clad
form, neither thin nor solid, the same pale eyes, arrogant and
embarrassed, the florid skin, the drooping fair moustache half-hiding
the fleshy red lips through which had come the voice familiar and
shunned from beyond memory.
She went forward followed by the voice into an air dense with shut-in
odours dried brown by stale pipe-smoke. It was as if the door just
closed behind her were never set open, and any egress there might be at
the back, closely sealed. And here, at the centre of a fog of smells of
which the air of the passage was but the fringe, someone was living.
The voice behind her on the stairs rang clear through the murk; a
refined voice, musical; they always had good voices.
“I’ve had three buckets of boiling water over the floors, and I’m going
to have three more.”
Yet another price to pay. This time not intermittent but permanent. How
long did scrubbing last?