The trap : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 8 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The trap : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 8
John Stuart Mill · en
But over the whole of the floor, gleaming, without blemish, was the new
linoleum. And soon the dividing curtain would hang between her and Miss
Holland’s cheerless things. A length of cord hung ready, suspended in a
deep loop from the top of the window frame to a hook in the wall above
the connecting door, and on the floor beneath the window lay a pile of
material.
She cried out at the sight of it, bringing Miss Holland in from the next
room.
“Yes,” she said disdainfully, “that is the curtain.”
Though in the course of two meetings Miriam had grown used to Miss
Holland’s way of speaking, it was still fruitful of wonder. She wondered
now, hearing it unchanged by the informality of the occasion, how it had
first come into being. At Wimpole Street it was a familiar tone, common
to upper middle-class dowdies of the better sort. Perhaps Henry James
used it? In men, it was apt to be fluty; a contraction of the range of
the voice to two or three fluty notes. In women it was almost only one
note, a little curved, breaking at some point of its passage into
distress; solicitous.
She had already discovered the exact amount of constriction of the
throat necessary to its production, and felt it draw the muscles of her
nose and mouth into an expression of faintly humorous contempt. Heard
now, as it were in its dressing-gown, it gave a clue to the mode of
being that would automatically produce it; a disdain of life’s external
processes, of everything but high ends, any kind of high end, from the
honour of England to the dignity of the speaker, that everything in life
must be moulded to serve.
Once accepted, it would ban any kind of passionate feeling, even
passionate chirpiness. Even mirth would not be allowed to reach beyond a
faint amusement. On the whole, so far, she had decided against it,
decided that it might even be possible to become a sort of châtelaine
without the constricted voice.
But on this occasion the voice showed itself in a new light. Subtly
attractive. For behind Miss Holland’s tone was a smile that beamed the
more warmly for the frost through which it came. It reached and touched
like sunlight. Garden sunlight that had been missing through all the
wandering years.
Did all these people emanate from high walled gardens, scorning
everything that was outside?
In any case, here she was, indefinitely committed to live at close
quarters with a scorn she was not sure of being able to share. Must at
least beware at the times, this was one of them, when the châtelaine way
of taking life went to her head, of treachery to things that stood
outside it. Meanwhile the experience would be charming. And to be a
little moulded by it would not be atavism. For Miss Holland was more
than the châtelaine. She had broken loose, set herself in adventurous
circumstances; a châtelaine facing both ways.