The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
Stuffy Pete took his seat on the third bench to the right as you enter
Union Square from the east, at the walk opposite the fountain. Every
Thanksgiving Day for nine years he had taken his seat there promptly at
1 o’clock. For every time he had done so things had happened to
him—Charles Dickensy things that swelled his waistcoat above his heart,
and equally on the other side.
But to-day Stuffy Pete’s appearance at the annual trysting place seemed
to have been rather the result of habit than of the yearly hunger
which, as the philanthropists seem to think, afflicts the poor at such
extended intervals.
Certainly Pete was not hungry. He had just come from a feast that had
left him of his powers barely those of respiration and locomotion. His
eyes were like two pale gooseberries firmly imbedded in a swollen and
gravy-smeared mask of putty. His breath came in short wheezes; a
senatorial roll of adipose tissue denied a fashionable set to his
upturned coat collar. Buttons that had been sewed upon his clothes by
kind Salvation fingers a week before flew like popcorn, strewing the
earth around him. Ragged he was, with a split shirt front open to the
wishbone; but the November breeze, carrying fine snowflakes, brought
him only a grateful coolness. For Stuffy Pete was overcharged with the
caloric produced by a super-bountiful dinner, beginning with oysters
and ending with plum pudding, and including (it seemed to him) all the
roast turkey and baked potatoes and chicken salad and squash pie and
ice cream in the world. Wherefore he sat, gorged, and gazed upon the
world with after-dinner contempt.
The meal had been an unexpected one. He was passing a red brick mansion
near the beginning of Fifth avenue, in which lived two old ladies of
ancient family and a reverence for traditions. They even denied the
existence of New York, and believed that Thanksgiving Day was declared
solely for Washington Square. One of their traditional habits was to
station a servant at the postern gate with orders to admit the first
hungry wayfarer that came along after the hour of noon had struck, and
banquet him to a finish. Stuffy Pete happened to pass by on his way to
the park, and the seneschals gathered him in and upheld the custom of
the castle.
After Stuffy Pete had gazed straight before him for ten minutes he was
conscious of a desire for a more varied field of vision. With a
tremendous effort he moved his head slowly to the left. And then his
eyes bulged out fearfully, and his breath ceased, and the rough-shod
ends of his short legs wriggled and rustled on the gravel.
For the Old Gentleman was coming across Fourth avenue toward his bench.