The tunnel : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 4 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The tunnel : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 4
John Stuart Mill · en
When she came to herself she was in the Strand. She walked on a little
and turned aside to look at a jeweller's window and consider being in
the Strand at night. Most of the shops were still open. The traffic was
still in full tide. The jeweller's window repelled her. It was very
yellow with gold, all the objects close together and each one bearing a
tiny label with the price. There was a sort of commonness about the
Strand, not like the cheerful commonness of Oxford Street, more like the
City with its many sudden restaurants. She walked on. But there were
theatres also, linking it up with the west-end and streets leading off
it where people like Bob Greville had chambers. It was the tailing off
of the west-end and the beginning of a deep dark richness that began
about Holywell. Mysterious important churches crowded in amongst little
brown lanes ... the little dark brown lane.... She wondered what she had
been thinking since she left Wimpole Street and whether she had come
across Trafalgar Square without seeing it or round by some other way.
They were _fighting_; sending out suffocation and misery into the
surrounding air ... she stopped close to the two upright balanced
threatening bodies, almost touching them. The men looked at her. "Don't"
she said imploringly and hurried on trembling.... It occurred to her
that she had not seen fighting since a day in her childhood when she had
wondered at the swaying bodies and sickened at the thud of a fist
against a cheek. The feeling was the same to-day, the longing to explain
somehow to the men that they _could_ not fight.... Half-past seven.
Perhaps there would not be an A.B.C. so far down. It would be impossible
to get a meal. Perhaps the girls would have some coffee. An A.B.C.
appeared suddenly at her side, its panes misty in the cold air. She went
confidently in. It seemed nearly full of men. Never mind, city men; with
a wisdom of their own which kept them going and did not affect anything,
all alike and thinking the same thoughts; far away from anything she
thought or knew. She walked confidently down the centre, her plaid-lined
golf-cape thrown back her small brown boat-shaped felt hat suddenly hot
on her head in the warmth. The shop turned at a right angle showing a
large open fire with a fireguard, and a cat sitting on the hearthrug in
front of it. She chose a chair at a small table in front of the fire.
The velvet settees at the sides of the room were more comfortable. But
it was for such a little while to-night and it was not one of her own
A.B.Cs. She felt as she sat down as if she were the guest of the city
men and ate her boiled egg and roll and butter and drank her small
coffee in that spirit-gazing into the fire and thinking her own thoughts
unresentful of the uncongenial scraps of talk that now and again
penetrated her thoughts; the complacent laughter of the men amazed her;
their amazing unconsciousness of the things that were written all over
them.