Viola's vanity : $b or, A bitter expiation — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Viola's vanity : $b or, A bitter expiation
John Stuart Mill · en
“Only lazy, professor,” bantered Aunt Edwina, who then went on with her
fancy-work in an absent-minded way, as if she had almost forgotten his
presence.
Viola set herself to be charming, and presently he overcame his seizure
of timidity, that she took in some alarm for indifference.
“I am trying all I can to forget that day; but, oh! I dream of it every
night, and, oh! I don’t think that I can ever be the same careless,
light-hearted girl again!” she cried, shuddering. “I shall never forget
my sensations as I plunged through the ice, down, down, down to the
bottom of the river, believing that I was going to my death. I was
wondering if I should go to Heaven, for I did not think I had been such
a bad girl, only a bit vain, maybe.”
“A bit vain,” he echoed, wondering if all her coquetries lay so lightly
on her conscience.
“Yes, I have been vain, and I remembered it then,” conceded Viola,
demurely. “I have believed people when they told me I was pretty, and
I rejoiced in exciting admiration. Only that morning I admired myself
so much in my new skating suit, and thought what a sensation I should
create on the ice. But oh, how I repented everything when I went
crashing through into the cold water! Oh, how good God was to send some
one to save me! I shall try to be a better girl the rest of my life!”
she added, seriously, her eyes growing soft with the dew of threatening
tears.
Aunt Edwina was listening, though she seemed so busy, for she
interposed and said:
“You know, dear, Doctor Herron said you must not permit your mind to
dwell on the shock of that accident. He says it will make you nervous
if you don’t put it out of your mind.”
“But, auntie, it seems to me that I ought to keep it in mind always so
as to be a better girl, for indeed I mean to be hereafter,” objected
Viola, with the most charming humility.
“Pshaw, child, you’ve always been sweet and good with one
exception--you flirt too much. But I don’t suppose you can help that
any more than you can help breathing. It was born in you, and maybe it
doesn’t do much harm,” returned the old lady, quite forgetting Desha’s
presence.
Viola blushed up to the edges of her silky dark hair and stole a glance
at him.
“I wish that _you_ could judge me as kindly,” she murmured, almost
entreatingly.
“Miss Van Lew!” deprecatingly.
“Oh, I know the things you have said about me. Other girls too good to
flirt,” bitterly, “weren’t too good to repeat them to me,” defiantly.
“Miss Van Lew, I beg your pardon. You see that was before I knew you,”
he hastened to explain, abjectly.
“Oh, I forgive you. I don’t bear malice,” she returned, sunnily.
“Yet I heard that you had threatened to break my heart,” teasingly.
“Oh, I did not mean it. I wouldn’t if I could--not that I ever expect
to have the chance,” she returned, somewhat incoherently, her cheeks
flaming under his steady gaze.