Viola's vanity : $b or, A bitter expiation — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Viola's vanity : $b or, A bitter expiation
John Stuart Mill · en
He was so madly in love and so proud of having captured Viola’s
illusive heart that he would have liked to publish his engagement at
once to the whole astonished world.
Viola, now that she had foresworn flirting, would not have objected to
his doing so, but in the midst of her keen happiness at having won her
lover, a blasting memory had coldly shaken her heart--the thought of
her engagement to Florian Gay.
She almost fainted with fear when she remembered that she was not free
to accept Philip Desha, since her hand was promised to another.
She thought quickly:
“I will write to Florian and take back my promise, but Philip must
never, never know the truth about it, for he has such high ideals, and
might blame me for appearing so fickle.”
Her mind ran rapidly over the obstacles in her way, and she decided
that her new engagement must not be announced till her old one was
broken off--in other words, it was best to be off with the old love
before she was on with the new.
So she bound her betrothed by the promise to keep their engagement
secret, though he chafed against it, saying:
“I shall not like for people to be saying you are flirting with me as
you did with others, my darling.”
The words had a sting for Viola’s heart, and tears flashed into her
eyes.
She cried, hastily:
“Oh, I shall never flirt again, never! I am quite cured of that
since--” She paused, bit her rosy lip, and added: “I understand how
you feel. I--I will not make you keep the secret long--only until--”
She paused again in dismay, finding she had almost uttered aloud her
thought that she would only keep him silent until Florian granted her
her freedom.
“Until--when?” asked Desha, gravely, with his large, frank blue eyes on
her face.
Viola blushed, and answered, evasively:
“Oh, until two or three weeks,” adding to herself that she would write
to Florian tomorrow, and tell him she could not marry him, because she
had learned to love his friend, Professor Desha, better, and that she
must take back her promise. Of course he would write back and say that
under the circumstances he released her and wished her much happiness.
Then she would be free to have her engagement announced.
But even in the midst of her little scheming came a remorseful thought.
“Poor Florian! It will make him very sad. He loved me dearly.”
And the next day she could not bring herself to write the words that
should strike down his happy dream of love.
Keen remorse seized on her heart for having been so fickle in her love
that the fancy had not outlived Florian’s absence.
“It seems so cruel to sadden his heart just now when he is in trouble
over his sick father. I will wait till tomorrow,” she decided.
When tomorrow came she found herself too cowardly still to give Florian
pain. She kept putting off her duty from day to day, and almost
forgetting Florian as she basked in the smiles of her new lover.