The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
As this severity could not draw from me the expected acknowledgment,
which obstinacy brought on several repetitions, and reduced me to a
deplorable situation, yet I was immovable, and resolutely determined to
suffer death rather than submit. Force, at length, was obliged to
yield to the diabolical infatuation of a child, for no better name was
bestowed on my constancy, and I came out of this dreadful trial,
torn, it is true, but triumphant. Fifty years have expired since this
adventure--the fear of punishment is no more. Well, then, I aver, in the
face of Heaven, I was absolutely innocent: and, so far from breaking, or
even touching the comb, never came near the fire. It will be asked, how
did this mischief happen? I can form no conception of it, I only know my
own innocence.
Let any one figure to himself a character whose leading traits were
docility and timidity, but haughty, ardent, and invincible, in its
passions; a child, hitherto governed by the voice of reason, treated
with mildness, equity, and complaisance, who could not even support
the idea of injustice, experiencing, for the first time, so violent an
instance of it, inflicted by those he most loved and respected. What
perversion of ideas! What confusion in the heart, the brain, in all my
little being, intelligent and moral!--let any one, I say, if possible,
imagine all this, for I am incapable of giving the least idea of what
passed in my mind at that period.
My reason was not sufficiently established to enable me to put myself in
the place of others, and judge how much appearances condemned me, I only
beheld the rigor of a dreadful chastisement, inflicted for a crime I
had not committed; yet I can truly affirm, the smart I suffered, though
violent, was inconsiderable compared to what I felt from indignation,
rage, and despair. My cousin, who was almost in similar circumstances,
having been punished for an involuntary fault as guilty of a premediated
crime, became furious by my example. Both in the same bed, we embraced
each other with convulsive transport; we were almost suffocated;
and when our young hearts found sufficient relief to breathe out our
indigination, we sat up in the bed, and with all our force, repeated a
hundred times, Carnifex! Carnifex! Carnifex! executioner, tormentor.