The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
Even while I write this I feel my pulse quicken, and should I live a
hundred thousand years, the agitation of that moment would still be
fresh in my memory. The first instance of violence and oppression is so
deeply engraved on my soul, that every relative idea renews my emotion:
the sentiment of indignation, which in its origin had reference only
to myself, has acquired such strength, and is at present so completely
detached from personal motives, that my heart is as much inflamed at the
sight or relation of any act of injustice (whatever may be the object,
or wheresoever it may be perpetrated) as if I was the immediate
sufferer. When I read the history of a merciless tyrant, or the dark
and the subtle machination of a knavish designing priest, I could on the
instant set off to stab the miscreants, though I was certain to perish
in the attempt.
I have frequently fatigued myself by running after and stoning a cock, a
cow, a dog, or any animal I saw tormenting another, only because it was
conscious of possessing superior strength. This may be natural to me,
and I am inclined to believe it is, though the lively impression of the
first injustice I became the victim of was too long and too powerfully
remembered not to have added considerable force to it.
This occurrence terminated my infantine serenity; from that moment I
ceased to enjoy a pure unadulterated happiness, and on a retrospection
of the pleasure of my childhood, I yet feel they ended here. We continue
at Bossey some months after this event, but were like our first parents
in the Garden of Eden after they had lost their innocence; in appearance
our situation was the same, in effect it was totally different.
Affection, respect; intimacy, confidence, no longer attached the pupils
to their guides; we beheld them no longer as divinities, who could read
the secrets of our hearts; we were less ashamed of committing faults,
more afraid of being accused of them: we learned to dissemble, to rebel,
to lie: all the vices common to our years began to corrupt our happy
innocence, mingle with our sports, and embitter our amusements. The
country itself, losing those sweet and simple charms which captivate the
heart, appeared a gloomy desert, or covered with a veil that concealed
its beauties. We cultivated our little gardens no more: our flowers were
neglected. We no longer scratched away the mould, and broke out into
exclamations of delight, on discovering that the grain we had sown began
to shoot. We were disgusted with our situation; our preceptors were
weary of us. In a word, my uncle wrote for our return, and we left Mr.
and Miss Lambercier without feeling any regret at the separation.