The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
To complete me, I had mingled a little physiology among my other
readings: I set about studying anatomy, and considering the multitude,
movement, and wonderful construction of the various parts that composed
the human machine; my apprehensions were instantly increased, I expected
to feel mine deranged twenty times a day, and far from being surprised
to find myself dying, was astonished that I yet existed! I could not
read the description of any malady without thinking it mine, and, had I
not been already indisposed, I am certain I should have become so from
this study. Finding in every disease symptoms similar to mine, I fancied
I had them all, and, at length, gained one more troublesome than any
I yet suffered, which I had thought myself delivered from; this was,
a violent inclination to seek a cure; which it is very difficult
to suppress, when once a person begins reading physical books. By
searching, reflecting, and comparing, I became persuaded that the
foundation of my complaint was a polypus at the heart, and Doctor
Salomon appeared to coincide with the idea. Reasonably this opinion
should have confirmed my former resolution of considering myself past
cure; this, however, was not the case; on the contrary; I exerted every
power of my understanding in search of a remedy for a polypus, resolving
to undertake this marvellous cure.
In a journey which Anet had made to Montpelier, to see the physical
garden there, and visit Monsieur Sauvages, the demonstrator, he had
been informed that Monsieur Fizes had cured a polypus similar to that
I fancied myself afflicted with: Madam de Warens, recollecting this
circumstance, mentioned it to me, and nothing more was necessary to
inspire me with a desire to consult Monsieur Fizes. The hope of recovery
gave me courage and strength to undertake the journey; the money from
Geneva furnished the means; Madam de Warens, far from dissuading,
entreated me to go: behold me, therefore, without further ceremony, set
out for Montpelier!--but it was not necessary to go so far to find the
cure I was in search of.