The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 02 — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 02
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
I am ignorant how this animated, though dumb scene would have ended, or
how long I should have continued immovable in this ridiculous, though
delicious, situation, had we not been interrupted--in the height of my
agitation, I heard the kitchen door open, which joined Madam Basile's
chamber; who, being alarmed, said, with a quick voice and action, "Get
up! Here's Rosina!" Rising hastily I seized one of her hands, which she
held out to me, and gave it two eager kisses; at the second I felt this
charming hand press gently on my lips. Never in my life did I enjoy so
sweet a moment; but the occasion I had lost returned no more, this being
the conclusion of our amours.
This may be the reason why her image yet remains imprinted on my heart
in such charming colors, which have even acquired fresh lustre since I
became acquainted with the world and women. Had she been mistress of the
least degree of experience, she would have taken other measures to
animate so youthful a lover; but if her heart was weak, it was virtuous;
and only suffered itself to be borne away by a powerful though
involuntary inclination. This was, apparently, her first infidelity, and
I should, perhaps, have found more difficulty in vanquishing her scruples
than my own; but, without proceeding so far, I experienced in her company
the most inexpressible delights. Never did I taste with any other woman
pleasures equal to those two minutes which I passed at the feet of Madam
Basile without even daring to touch her gown. I am convinced no
satisfaction can be compared to that we feel with a virtuous woman we
esteem; all is transport!--A sign with the finger, a hand lightly pressed
against my lips, were the only favors I ever received from Madam Basile,
yet the bare remembrance of these trifling condescensions continues to
transport me.
It was in vain I watched the two following days for another tete a tete;
it was impossible to find an opportunity; nor could I perceive on her
part any desire to forward it; her behavior was not colder, but more
distant than usual, and I believe she avoided my looks for fear of not
being able sufficiently to govern her own. The cursed clerk was more
vexatious than ever; he even became a wit, telling me, with a satirical
sneer, that I should unquestionably make my way among the ladies. I
trembled lest I should have been guilty of some indiscretion, and looking
at myself as already engaged in an intrigue, endeavored to cover with an
air of mystery an inclination which hitherto certainly had no great need
of it; this made me more circumspect in my choice of opportunities, and
by resolving only to seize such as should be absolutely free from the
danger of a surprise, I met none.