A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 03 — Voltaire — John Shaqi
A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 03
Voltaire · en
The public made no objection to this application of it; but, as it was a
new title, not conferred on bishops by kings, they continued to be
called sieurs in edicts, declarations, ordinances and all official
documents; and when the council wrote to a bishop they gave him no
higher title than monsieur.
The dukes and peers have encountered more difficulty in acquiring
possession of the title of monseigneur. The _grande noblesse_, and what
is called the grand robe, decidedly refuse them that distinction. The
highest gratification of human pride consists in a man's receiving
titles of honor from those who conceive themselves his equals; but to
attain this is exceedingly difficult; pride always finds pride to
contend with.
When the dukes insisted on receiving the title of monseigneur from the
class of gentlemen, the presidents of the parliaments required the same
from advocates and proctors. A certain president actually refused to be
bled because his surgeon asked: "In which arm will you be bled,
monsieur?" An old counsellor treated this matter somewhat more gayly. A
pleader was saying to him, "Monseigneur, monsieur, your secretary"....
He stopped him short: "You have uttered three blunders," says he, "in
as many words. I am not monseigneur; my secretary is not monsieur; he is
my clerk."
To put an end to this grand conflict of vanity it will eventually be
found necessary to give the title of monseigneur to every individual in
the nation; as women, who were formerly content with mademoiselle, are
now to be called madame. In Spain, when a mendicant meets a brother
beggar, he thus accosts him: "Has your courtesy taken chocolate?" This
politeness of language elevates the mind and keeps up the dignity of the
species. Cæsar and Pompey were called in the senate Cæsar and Pompey.
But these men knew nothing of life. They ended their letters with
_vale_--adieu. We, who possess more exalted notions, were sixty years
ago "affectionate servants"; then "very humble and very obedient"; and
now we "have the honor to be" so. I really grieve for posterity, which
will find it extremely difficult to add to these very beautiful
formulas. The Duke d'Épernon, the first of Gascons in pride, though far
from being the first of statesmen, wrote on his deathbed to Cardinal
Richelieu and ended his letter with: "Your very humble and very
obedient." Recollecting, however, that the cardinal had used only the
phrase "very affectionate," he despatched an express to bring back the
letter (for it had been actually sent off), began it anew, signed "very
affectionate," and died in the bed of honor.
We have made many of these observations elsewhere. It is well, however,
to repeat them, were it only to correct some pompous peacocks, who would
strut away their lives in contemptibly displaying their plumes and their
pride.
CERTAIN--CERTAINTY.