A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 08 — Voltaire — John Shaqi
A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 08
Voltaire · en
There existed a rather ludicrous ordeal, which consisted in making an
accused person try to swallow a piece of barley bread, which it was
believed would certainly choke him if he were guilty. I am not, however,
so much diverted with this case as with the conduct of Harlequin, when
the judge interrogated him concerning a robbery of which Dr. Balouard
accused him. The judge was sitting at table, and drinking some excellent
wine at the time, when Harlequin was brought in; perceiving which, the
latter takes up the bottle, and, pouring the whole of its contents into
a glass, swallows it at a draught, saying to the doctor: "If I am guilty
of what you accuse me, sir, I hope this wine will prove poison to me."
ORDINATION.
If a soldier, charged by the king of France with the honor of conferring
the order of St. Louis upon another soldier, had not, when presenting
the latter with the cross, the intention of making him a knight of that
order, would the receiver of the badge be on that account the less a
member of the order than if such intention had existed? Certainly not.
How was it, then, that many priests thought it necessary to be
re-ordained after the death of the celebrated Lavardin, bishop of Mans?
That singular prelate, who had instituted the order of "Good
Fellows"--Des Coteaux--bethought himself on his deathbed of a singular
trick, in the way of revenge, on a class of persons who had much annoyed
him. He was well known as one of the most daring freethinkers of the age
of Louis XIV., and had been publicly upbraided with his infidel
sentiments, by many of those on whom he had conferred orders of
priesthood. It is natural at the approach of death, for a sensitive and
apprehensive soul to revert to the religion of its early years. Decency
alone would have required of the bishop, that at least at his death he
should give an example of edification to the flock to which he had given
so much scandal by his life. But he was so deeply exasperated against
his clergy, as to declare, that not a single individual of those whom he
had himself ordained was really and truly a priest; that all their acts
in the capacity of priests were null and void; and that he never
entertained the intention of conferring any sacrament.
Such reasoning seems certainly characteristic, and just such as might be
expected from a drunken man; the priests of Mans might have replied to
him, "It is not your intention that is of any consequence, but ours. We
had an ardent and determined desire to be priests; we did all in our
power to become such. We are perfectly ingenuous and sincere; if you are
not so, that is nothing at all to us." The maxim applicable to the
occasion is, "_quic quid accipitur ad modum recipientis accipitur,_" and
not "_ad modum dantis._" "When our wine merchant has sold us a half a
hogshead of wine, we drink it, although he might have a secret intention
to hinder us from drinking it; we shall still be priests in spite of
your testament."