Meleager : $b A fantasy — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Meleager : $b A fantasy
John Stuart Mill · en
This last matter accomplished, and one or two cheques to tradesmen
signed and posted, I put on my overcoat and hat, and sallied out of
the club towards noon. A feeling of lightness of body combined with
a sense of calm exaltation of mind assisted me, as I walked slowly
through the muddy streets towards the National Gallery, one of my most
frequent haunts in London. Here I spent about an hour in sauntering
through the huge rooms hung with the glowing works of the Old Masters,
stopping occasionally to admire some special favourite, and even
studying with interest a recent addition to the collection that hung on
a solitary screen. Quitting the gallery, I crossed Trafalgar Square,
the while sensing the gush of its fountains and gazing at Landseer's
stolid lions; thence I strolled down the length of Whitehall as far as
Westminster with its majestic group of Gothic towers, and after filling
my eyes with its bristling outlines against the murky winter's sky,
I entered the north portal of the Abbey. Here again I wandered in an
erratic but pleasurable frame of mind that I vainly tried to analyse
to myself, and after many pacings to and fro in the ancient cloisters,
that held so many memories for me, I left the Abbey to proceed very
slowly towards Charing Cross by way of the Embankment. According to
our prearranged plan, I boarded a certain train that same afternoon
for Dover. The journey seemed to me interminable, and as I lay back on
the cushions at times I fitfully hoped for some collision that might
prove fatal to me; whilst at other moments I grew morbidly nervous
lest by some unforeseen accident I might be prevented from reaching my
destination in good time.
I alighted at Dover about five o'clock on a raw, cold, windy, showery
evening. From the station I passed into the street, and thence, in
pursuance of my instructions, I followed a road leading westward. Ere
long I had left behind me the suburbs of the town and was now tramping
a dreary exposed thoroughfare that ran between market gardens. As I
walked ahead slowly and deliberately, I suddenly saw emerge from a
mean inn beside the road a short, thick-set man in seafaring dress and
bearing a bundle on his shoulder. I knew him to be d'Aragno, and I
continued to follow in his track. He proceeded for some distance along
the high road, and then striking abruptly into a by-path amongst the
dismal vegetable plots led towards the sea. The lights of Dover were
now far behind me, and I realised sharply the fact that I was saying
farewell to the kindly and accustomed world of men for ever and aye,
and was advancing towards a doom whose nature I only dimly understood.
Like Rabelais, I was stepping into the Great Perhaps; I was about to
take a plunge into the ocean of the Vast Unknown.